Definition of BS: Mubarak’s Speech

So after hearing the speech of Hosni Mubarak i was left in shock and awe…..for all the WRONG reasons….This guy makes Tom Cruise look grounded in reality…It’s only a guy that deluded that can see his own people raging against HIM and think….maybe I need to change the configuration of the crew I role with. Hosni, let’s get one thing straight on the get go…just BECAUSE people are screaming your name doesn’t mean they like you…it ISN’T a coincidence that its usually accompanied with the words ‘Down’ and ‘With’.

Regardless …I have managed to attain the speech for you that he made with added commentary on what is going on inside his head…*which to be honest isn’t much*.

WARNING: anyone allergic to CHEESE and BULLS**** should avoid going any further.

I am addressing you at a very defining moment which mandates all of us to make a conscious stand *by stand i mean stand anywhere but in the streets*.  I have been closely monitoring the demonstrations and the demands voiced by the people * I’v been so busy monitoring it i’v had to cut back on the hours I spend rolling around in the country’s money *. My instructions to the government stressed that they should provide an opportunity for the masses to express their views and demands *my exact words to the police where; treat today like a game of GTA*. I then followed the attempts of some to jump on the bandwagon and cause unrest. I regret the innocent causalities and victims on both the side of the citizens and police personal. The government committed to my instructions and this was clear in the way the police handled demonstrators *yep…1030 wounded and counting… that’s gotta b an all time record… Not to mention the deaths…where IS my medal at?*. They took the initiative to defend them at the beginning of the demonstrations respecting their right to peaceful demonstrations. This was so long as it was within parameters of the law but these demonstrations turned into acts of riot threatening the public order and impairing the daily lives of the Egyptian citizens. These demonstrations and what we witnessed earlier of rallies staged over the past few years wouldn’t have taken place without the huge spaces and room for freedom of expression, freedom of press and many other forms of freedoms that was granted to the Egyptian people by the reforms * I’ll have you know people are FREE to choose whatever POSITIVE thing they want to say about me…EVEN the newspapers are free to print whatever positive thing that want to say about me…sure i usually stipulate which options they can choose from…but they  STILL have a choice…usually just between two options though…when i say 2…i mean 1*

In my capacity as a president of the republic and by virtue of all the powers conferred to me by *me* the constitution as *Big Daddy* a judge and arbitrator I always have stressed and will continue to reiterate that sovereignty will be to the people and i will always adhere to exercising the right of freedom and expression so long as it’s within the permits of law and constitution. There is a fine line separating freedom from chaos and while I take the side of citizen’s freedom to express their views I also similarly adhere to defending Egypt stability and security and to not steer it into any threats that may jeopardise public safety and public order whose repercussions on the current and future of Egypt is unpredictable *and by security and stability i mean my security and my ass-on-the-throne stability…that ass dent on the throne aint gona sustain itself *. Egypt is the biggest country in the region in terms of the population, geographical location and heavy weight it is a state of institutions governed by the constitution and the rule of law and we should be cautious and aware of the many examples around us that draw people to chaos and mayhem in which they gained no democracy or stability *discard all the many examples where this has succeeded like in America, Britian, South Africa, France….let’s just cut it short and just say screw history*. My fellow citizens these demonstrations came to express the lawful aspirations of more democracy and called for speedy actions to combat unemployment, raising standards of living, fighting poverty and addressing corruption. I am fully aware of these lawful aspirations of the Egyptian people and i am also aware of the degree of their suffering to which i am always attached to and working day after day for *Hell am i aware of their suffering…i DO take pride in my work after all…It isn’t easy being corrupt, hated and callous*. However the problems facing us and the goals sought by us cannot be achieved through violence nor chaos they can only be achieved through national dialogue and a conscious concerted genuine efforts *by dialogue i mean i talk you listen…you talk your ass gets thrown in Jail*.

The use of Egypt is a dear wealth, and Egypt looks to the demonstrators to steer away from those who entice chaos, looting public and private property, arsons and knocking down what we have been building *This of course does not apply to the secret undercover agents i have sent out to do just that…they are simply taking a simple approach to ‘refurbishing’ the country *. I have a firm belief and conviction that we will continue or political and economic social reforms for a free and democratic Egyptian society embracing the modern principles and opening to the world *note to self: ask the USA for more money to prop up our piggy bank*. I have taken the side and always will take the side of the poor people of Egypt convinced that Economy is too dangerous to be left to economist alone *It’s all about rookie’s luck i tell you… ask ANY gambler…i’m sure through trial and lots of error i’ll get it right*. I have always been keen to direct governmental policy towards economic reforms that speed up and lessen the suffering of the people *Note to self: Remember to ask the USA if they will cover our phone bills to them to*. Our plans to combat unemployment and provide more educational services, healthcare, housing and many other services to the youth and citizens will remain conditional on our efforts to maintain a secure and stable Egyptian homeland for the civilized people which will not jeopardise its future and allow it to go down the drain. We will rise above the arsons and looting which may indicate further plots to shake the foundations of stability of Egypt. I call on our youth and call on each and every Egyptian citizen man and woman to work for the public interest of the people and to stand up for their country  not by setting ablaze or assaulting public and private property  as it is not by this that we can achieve the aspirations of Egypt and its people. Yet these aspirations can be achieved for a better future by way of awareness, dialogue and genuine efforts for the public good *Must remember to call up my son Gamal and the rest of my crooked crew and tell them not to panic they are of course exempt from these conditionality’s…..better add that to the phone bill the USA will cover*.

My fellow citizens I address you today not only as the president of the republic but as an Egyptian citizen who’s faith put me under the responsibility of this country and I have exhausted my life for the country in times of war and peace *Holla at the fact that i played the religion card*. We have withered hard times and surmounted these obstacles by standing up for them as one nation. We are aware of our directions and goals set towards reform which we have embraced and which has no point of return. We will continue steadily through new steps that emphasis  our respect to the rule of law, new steps towards democracy, more freedoms to citizens,  reduction in unemployment, raising standard of living,  developing services and  to stand by the side of the poor and people of low income *Here is hoping no one calls my Bluff*. Our options and our goals will define the shape of out futures and we have no other alternative to achieve them but to embrace genuine work and through that struggle we will continue to maintain what we have earned and embark on. Those  cautious of the future of the nation the incidents that took place today and the past few days have left the majority of the Egyptian people fearing for Egypt and its future, cautious of further mayhem chaos and destruction *Especially since they don’t have the luxury afforded to me and my home bois of our own Egyptian police force… the national police force is our B**** *. I shoulder my first responsibility to maintain the homeland security and citizen safety and cannot tolerate or allow this fear to grip our people * how DARE they…tryna take OUR jobs of installing fear into the population away from us… you KNOW how much effort goes into building a secret service? Those Torture chambers are an investment people….and i WANT my money’s worth… especially since it’s a recession.. gotta break even*.  I won’t allow this to haunt our future and or our faith so I have requested the government to step down today and i will designate a new government as of tomorrow to shoulder new duties and to account for the priorities of the upcoming era *i know i know…I’m too kind…it’ll b hard work re-shuffling my cabinet but i’ll persist because I’m not a quitter…Literally..I’m thinking of maybe playing a game of musical chairs to decide who goes where*  I state once again that I will not b lax or tolerant and I will take all the steps to maintain the safety and security of all Egyptians. I will safeguard the safety of Egypt and the aspirations of our people it is the duty and responsibility which I have taken in the oath to safeguard and to maintain. May god save Egypt, its people and may he guide all our steps and may peace be upon you all *H-M over and out…AND that’s how you do it BEN ALI…smakkkkdowwwwn…where my FANS at*.

A massive congrats for those who managed to get to here without throwing up in disgust.

Till Next time,

 

Way to Pop an Egyptian party Hillary

So the story that everyone has been hooked on in the news is of course the goings on in Egypt….well…i say everyone…seems the USA has gone a bit quiet on what’s going on. Actually wait…my bad…i spoke to soon, i have come across a statement by the Secretary of State Hillary Clinton…USA the so called beacon of democracy….USA the lauder of people’s liberties…This should be riveting:

‘U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton on Tuesday urged all sides in Egypt to exercise restraint following street protests and said she believed the Egyptian government was stable and looking for ways to respond to its people’s aspirations.’

Source: http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSWAT01483220110125

*scrolls down webpage…double checks the quote…checks Google and other articles for the extended version…goes back to page and searches for a to be continued….checks if this statement is a teaser trailer to a forthcoming fully detailed response….*

W-T-F …is that ALL? *puts down Cheerleading USA Pom poms…takes of Statue of liberty inspired crown…* I heard it was going to be a good ‘un….the character profile promised so much….yet delivered so little….Hooooooooooooooooold up DJ and PLEASE re-wind that track…is that REALLY all you have to say?

If so then I have a little story to tell that will beggar belief that THIS is all the U.S or Hillary could really fathom…huddle round kids:

Back in 2003 a war was waged on Iraq…one of the many reasons to go to war was to bring democracy to Iraq…we had George Bush aka dog and Tony Blair aka tail spreading word of how they were going to be the righteous victors to bring this elusive concept of democracy to the shores of Iraq. Yes theeeeeeeey where the ones who would bring forth this mystic beast called democracy and impart it on the Iraqi people…and they were going to stick to their guns and like  true cowboy’s in a Wild Wild West era where going to wage war to bestow this selfless gift to the Iraqi’s…..yes i know there were other claims to war e.g. Nuclear weapons etc…. but if you’ve been listening to anything Tony Blair’s been droning on about you’d be forgiven for thinking there where no other points to war…plus, even if their where no weapons he still would have gone to war he claimed..Because Saddam is a ruthless dictator etc. ….I’m not disputing the ruthless dictator credentials by the way for those up in arms.

So because they were on this virtuous mission they weren’t going to heed the calls of the namby-pamby UN to hold back till they secured some sort of resolution for the war….SCREW THEM!..They had no BALLS the US cried…they didn’t CARE about the Iraqi people…oh NO they were on a ‘humanitarian’ democratic mission…and no one was going to stop them…they were bringing the democratic party bus to Iraq…they were going to impart this precious baby of the west  to Iraq.. And as a famous wise film *cough cough dirty dancing* once eschewed: ‘NO-ONE puts baby in a corner’ ….not on this dance floor they don’t…

Actually….depends who’s idea it is to bring baby to the dance floor…if it’s the population then F*** that b**** can stay in the corner…that S*** is asking for trouble if she is running out on us…she’s OUR date….we bring her to the dance floor you hear?  And then we let you have a dance or two with her…but in the end she is coming home with US *holla at me Hamid Karzai if u know what I’m talking about….U KNOW what I’m talking about…we all know those elections where as dodgy as Hosni Mubarak’s face…you lil rascal you*

Anyways after all this hoopla….. Iraq isn’t what you would call a pin-up style democracy…so thankfully you would think this Egyptian  street level call to democracy could  be pounced on by you lot to salvage your street cred…since you did also claim that bringing democracy to Iraq would act as a domino effect in the region bringing democracy to other countries.. But funnily enough when Hillary Clinton and the USA, where handed this democratic movement on a plate…. I mean literally on a silver platter with a silver knife, fork and BUTLER to boot they didn’t want much to do with it???? Well the only thing they wanted with it was to tell the population who are striving for it to show ‘restraint’?

Now I’m not saying the population should go anarchic and cause as much destruction as possible for maximum effect but what I DO understand and see is that the people who are protesting when faced with the beating batons and rubber bullets of the police should not just sit back and take it…no they SHOULD fight….why? Because it is their right’s and the rights of future generations they are fighting for, and regardless of what you say no revolution from the bottom-up has ever come without a struggle of sorts…if you have forgotten this ample fact America refer back to the history books…the French revolution…the AMERICAN revolution…the revolution against apartheid in South Africa the U.S etc.

Point being if, as i have said before, you are going to claim to be the bearer of democracy, human rights, liberty etc. Then you better well check yourself before you wreck yourself and defend those who need defending…No No NO NO NO…GEORGE AND TONY…PUT DOWN YOUR DAM GUNS…not that way…sheeeeesh talk about jumping the gun….it can be through simply pulling back the unbridled support Mubarak has from you in aid and foreign policy initiatives. …It’s a surprise why you aren’t acting on this…

Well actually not a complete surprise…I do know that the reason why Hosni Mubarak is on the Paris Hilton US version of the hottie list and not the nottie list is simply because he is our b****…and we are a nation of dog lovers aren’t we?

The same old crap is lauded about….Mubarak is a bastard…but he is OUR bastard…he keeps them radicals at bay…you know who I’m talking about …those gun-totting-suicide-bombing-turban-loving-slipper-hurling-camel-riding-falg-burning-islamic-extremists….

But last i checked Osama Bin Laden was NOT running for presidency in Egypt or any other region and that goes for the rest of that radically deluded bunch……most people in the middle east *the majority save a few* don’t agree or like Osama bin laden and his cronies or even other  extremist forms and versions of his ideals and values…yea shock horror….the people who bomb weddings in Jordan,  kill Shia’s and Sunni’s alike in Iraq and massacre Christians and Muslims in Egypt aren’t well received? So no we won’t be having a BLAST with the extremists when Hosni Mubarak leaves…

But what you are doing by keeping silent and continuing your hypocritical foreign policy stances IS pushing more vulnerable individuals TOO extremist means, because violence whether we like it or not, becomes the only possible solution or outlet in a desperate dead-end situation  for desperate people.  So if you want to call for restraint Hillary your targeting the wrong people, call for restraint on your aid budgets and foreign policy activities that back-up dictatorships like Hosni Mubarak…that way you can help in actually solving a crises….and working your way to de-tarnishing your really grimy image abroad,

And if you are lost for words on what to say to the Egyptian population than look no further than your own constitution for inspiration

‘We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.’

‘No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.’

And if you’re not bothered to read….just take a glance at the statue of liberty and all it stands for….maybe then you will have more to say on this subject then a few pitying words on restraint..

The values your country was built on are values that are not and should not be restrained to your shores alone….but remember that they must not be forced on a population they must COME from the population….after all…isn’t that what democracy is about? Rule BY the PEOPLE, FOR the PEOPLE.

Till Next Time,

 

Let’s Hope She Shops Till She Bloody Well Drops

So the news story I found this week I think really puts the O in OH-HELL-NO.

The story involves Tunisia’s former ‘president’ Ben Ali’s wife, Leila Ben Ali who like her husband is currently in hiding in Saudi Arabia having hauled ass out of Tunisia. The woman just seems to want to get in on the ‘the-despised-as-hell-and-hated’ clique… but don’t judge her just because she is stealing the evil limelight from her hubby, get with the times people, she’s getting her feminist groove on and just practising the notion of Equality for all in ALL respects…be it good or bad.

What happened  is that before she escaped the country she headed to the main bank reserve and demanded to have gold withdrawn and handed to her in the tune of 35 million pounds… When the man in charge questioned this order she said it was for security reasons *yea the most secure place apparently in her mind is under the ownership of the very same people the country is trying to revolt against and get their hands on*. She then got her hubby/man-main/bue on the phone to reassert the ‘validity’ of the order….suffice to say she got it and managed to hightail out the country in time before all hell broke loose.

Now I don’t know whyyyy people are frowning upon this because I think there is a purely *be it irrational* reason for her actions….it wasn’t just pure daylight robbery….there is an explanation for this….that is an explanation that only Tony Blair could probably see….so im going to take this Tony-Blair-faced-with-damming-evidence-against-his-actions-by-the-Chilcot-inquiry-but-yet-managing-to-still-insist-his-innocence-by-grasping-at-barley-there-straws-and-twisting-words-and-situations-to-suit-his-defence-regardless-of-how-absurd-they-sound approach to this situation….which in simple lay man’s terms means I’m gonna act like a lawyer.

So both these defence points revolve around her claim to be taking this wealth to secure it and keep it safe…here we go:

Firstly, woman was securing the money and placing it in a safe place….it’s just she sees the vaults of Dubai mall’s designer shops *or any other mall or shopping district to that effect* being theeee ideal place to keep the money stashed….as you all know she is a lavish spender and therefore has first-hand experience with how when she hands money over in these places, they stay under lock and key.. they are so secure even she isn’t allowed near them once she has ‘deposited’ them at the cash till….and instead of a blatant and bait key to a safe she gets designer clothes, shoes, cars etc in exchange… Let’s just hope she remembers to keep a receipt because the types of places she shops at aren’t really big on refunds…especially when they ring into the millions

And if that doesn’t put your mind at ease how about this view, woman spends so much time abroad she has obviously heard about the recession and seen how welfare states react….you’re out of a job and on the dole….she just didn’t really grasp the full and simple concept of how benefits work…she just thought…hey…I’m out of a job so where’s my compensation at?….It was a rhetorical question of course….she just did the simple maths of money= banks and headed straight for what in her eyes a welfare unemployment benefits office should look like…she didn’t bother to ask whether or not Tunisia even provided welfare…she just thought it was a given since she had been getting a lot of money for doing absolutely nothing for quite some time she assumed it was the status quo…

Its jsut a simple case of someone with more money then sense, or to be more exact, too much money no dam sense.

And to all you people who don’t believe the hard evidence above abt how she could be misunderstood tell me this:

If she DID steal it theeeen whyyyyyyyyyyyyy would she head straight to a country whereeeee the punishment for stealing is one of the harshest…..she’s thick but even she must now that under Saudi rules her crime of stealing amounts to her very-well-manicured-and-invested-in-hand getting the chop….that’s especially a problem since she has spent a big part of her life spending money on designer gloves, among other things ofcourse … that’s a monetary loss if I ever saw one.

Overall, this story goes to show that some people really are void of any type of emotional and cognitive thought when it comes to the world around them…she is a joke and her family is a disgrace….lets hope the people of Tunisia get the justice they deserve and that people like her get the punishment they have so truly earned.

Till Next time,

 

Tunisia- viva la revolution!

Well, who-da-thunk-it? A well deserved congratulations to the Tunisian people.

It’s been quite an eventful few days in the Middle East region *yea anyone who wants to argue the geographic location of Tunisia with me is obviously missing the big picture*. The whole Tunisian overthrow of Ben Ali came as a shock to many who didn’t really know much about the region…It’s especially eventful since many news outlet in the western world didn’t really cover the protests and riots *which had been going on for around a month or so* till Ben Ali himself decided to get on a plane and high-tail his dumb ass out the region……welll…i say region…he did leave the region to try to get into France but was rejected *yea…France…the country that gave refuge to the Shah of Iran thinks you’re not good enough for it….talk about kicking a person when he is down…that had to burn*….But not to worry….he managed to find a place called home in Saudi Arabia…which considering how its government and leaders run things…must be realllllly confused over why exactly he got his ass served on a plate to him by his people:

Saudi Official; you mean to say you ALLOW your woman to drive…..you allow a sort of religious freedom…. you allow your woman to dress as they please….you allow your woman to go out and about on their jack-jones…….*let’s just cut the woman list short for the sake of the post not turning into a book of sorts*…you also don’t claim a monopoly on the Islamic religion whilst hypocritically not following those rules….and THEY still weren’t happy? PSHTT… youth these days….so inconsiderate.

But regardless of all that…..the point still stands that what the Tunisian’s did is something which is practically unheard of in the middle eastern region…they did something that is commendable…they stood up for their rights and they did not accept anything less than what they were truly owed….when Ben Ali offered to step down after his term ends in 2014* yea…boi thought that it was the idea of his seeking re-election that had grinded people’s gears….26 years of rule…. alright….anything more..and boi is pushing his luck*  years to quell the protest the people did not stop. It’s something which has rightfully sent shock waves through the region and throughout the world….and …it is hoped…that it might finally have woken up the Arabs in the region and shown them that nothing is impossible if they put their minds, heart and soul into it and if they UNITE to achieve the goal…

These corrupt, despotic leaders do not claim a monopoly over their people if the people don’t allow them to.

But of course…..events should be seen in context….there are factors in Tunisia which played into the hands of the population,

Firstly: the employment rate amongst the youth was around 50%….why this is important is because it is the youth who are usually at the forefront of any type of revolution, so their dissatisfaction adds a huge amount of fuel onto the fire

Secondly: the high gas and food prices…as everyone knows when the people are hungry..that is when they are most dangerous…it’s also why you’ll probably see a lot of countries now in the middle east re-assessing and lowering prices …keep people fed and warm…and you will breed a certain amount of complacency.

Thirdly: believe it or not…..the fact that the Tunisian youth are socially active online…the use of things like fb and twitter and other social mediums was instrumental in getting the movement started…so the next time your parents/friends/lecturer/sister tell you to get your face off of fb and into a book…just tell them when a revolution of sorts is needed…they will be rueing the day they asked you to shift on out…books don’t connect people…websites do *respect*…you reap what you sow ay?

The fact that Egypt ticks two of those boxes is the reason why people are looking to it to carry the mantle of the Tunisian movement through onto it’s shores. In fact, Egypt compared to Tunisia is worse off in the first two points in general…. but it’s the 3rd factor which is missing in Egypt that experts say is a problem…they aren’t as well-connected as Tunisia was.

Plus….the reason why this might not be so easy to replicate in countries like Egypt or Saudi or Jordan etc. is because in Tunisia, the military *and even police to a certain extent* where less willing to get extremely violent with the protesters as would have happened in the former countries….That is not to say that they weren’t violent…they where…especially the police …as lives were lost in the protests unfortunately…but the army in a sense took more of a back seat which wouldn’t have occurred in the other countries where they would probably be knee-deep in blood… as nearly everyone knows in the middle east region, generally…the army…instead of the police….would probably the be the first people on the scene of any type of  protest….yea….in the middle east…when you join the army…you do end up fighting contrary to what people think…..it’s just you end up fighting your own people.

So in summary, I’m completely in awe of all those people who participated and did what they did in the protests *even though they had been intimidated and threatened with violence* to secure justice for their people….And for those who lost their lives, May your actions be forever remembered in the hearts and minds of the current and future generations…let’s hope your deaths will not be to no avail…and that real change comes to a country which has fought and truly deserves it.

And also, as a sign of respect and recognition to the man who sparked these calls to protest through the actions he carried out in the last few moments of his life, I give a brief summary of what his story is:

‘ Mohamed Bouazizi, aged 26, from Sidi Bouzid, in southern Tunisia, had graduated from Mahdia University a few years ago, but could not find a job. Being the only breadwinner in his family, he decided to earn a living and with his family’s help, he started selling fruit and vegetable from a street stall. His venture gave him very little, enough to guarantee the dignity of his family. But city hall officials were on the look out, and have seized his goods several times. He tried to explain to them that what he was doing was not his choice that he was just trying to survive. Each time, his goods were confiscated; he was also insulted and asked to leave the city hall premises. The last time this happened, Mohamed lost all hope in this life and decided to leave it forever. He poured gasoline on himself and set himself on fire.’

I paraphrased his story from this website for those who are interested:

http://inmytrends.com/tunisia-unemployed-mans-suicide-attempt-sparks-riots.htm

R.I.P

Till next time,

“If you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything.” – Malcolm X

 

Deaths in Egypt

Yes this post is probably high on the cheese-fest scale but its a serious event which deserves to be acknowledged…so bare with it.

Just want to make short post about the events in Egypt and the saddening loss of life. The bombings against the Christian community is abhor able and should be vocally criticised and condemned especially by the Islamic community. It’s not enough that people know that the actions where wrong and carried out by a select misguided few but bridges need to be re-built between the Christian and Muslim community and the only way that can happen is when both communities stand up against fundamentalism and extremism of all sorts. The demonstrations  carried out by Muslims and Christians against the bombings in Egypt where heart warming and just go to show that illusion of an irreconcilable difference between both communities is just that, an illusion. The majority need to show the select minority that their views play no part in any society. Violence begets more violence and what can start out as a small act of anger can spiral into a conflict which draws in unwilling victims.

Regardless of your beliefs, there is a general agreement that Life is a sacred thing and therefore the taking of any life especially through senseless violence should not be taken lightly.

Till next time,

“Life is sacred, that is to say, it is the supreme value, to which all other values are subordinate.”

— Albert Einstein

 

Love the way You Lie

Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that’s alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that’s alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

It looks like me stumbling across a song that fits a political situation is going to be a regular occurrence…Don’t blame me…blame the music…. It’s like the song was tailor-made as a soundtrack to this event ….Is it coincidence that the song came out around the time of the event? Conspiracy? I think not as I doubt Rihanna and Eminem had any inkling of the political message they mirror in their song, but regardless they have hit the proverbial nail on the head.

So what am I exactly on about? Is it the love-in of Nick Clegg and David Cameron? Are you crazy? of course not, I didn’t say the song was ‘We belong together’ by Mariah Carey, or ‘My Boo’ by Alicia keys and Usher, or a ‘Moment Like this’ by Kelly Clarkson, or ‘Everything I do (I Do It For You)’ by Brian Adams, or ‘crazy in love’ by Beyonce…..I could go on and on listing the whole back-catalogue of love songs ever created but that would just keep me typing away till death arrives at my doorstep…..and plus…im taking you have already gotten the point of the kind of relationship Nicky and Davey share *you don’t know it but that’s one of the ways they love to refer to each other, others are Romeo and Juliet, Jack and Rose etc.*

Wow….i think that was THEEE longest sidetrack ever..but what can i say….they inspire a lot.  So back to the main point, what am i referring to with regards to these lyrics? *drumroll….acrobats….juggling clowns…..fireworks….neon lights*

Bankers and their relationship with the government <3

It just screams domestic abuseeeee and i don’t need to tell you who’s the wife beater in this situation, the bankerssss. Why? Because they use and abuse as they please, get themselves into tricky situations which drag us all down, run back to the government asking for help and promising to change, then as soon as they are saved they are back to their dirty tricks again…no shame or regret…even Chris Brown is tutting at how they treat their woman.

So this all comes about mainly because the issue of Banker’s Bonus is yet to be resolved. With David Cameron exclaiming recently that ‘banker-bashing’ is not the way to go …. really? these people rolling in money can’t take a bit *or a lot* of criticism? obviously they weren’t taught that sticks and stones will break their bones but words will not hurt them….trust the abused to stick up for their man  *he loves me he really does…he just gets all caught up in the moment and doesn’t realise what he is doing…it’s my fault it really is*….in this case it really is David, yours and the governments fault. You act as facilitators for the bankers absurd actions and the fact you wont call their bluff on their claim that if you restrict their bonuses that the financial sector will take flight is just pitiful.

So what about the claim that the financial sector will move abroad if  their bonuses are restricted or taken away….really? A whole sector will decide to pack their bags and move on out abroad? Uproot their whole social network? Doubt it especially when they realise that a restriction on bonuses doesn’t mean you’ll be working on minimum wage…you’ll still be able to afford that nice Ferrari or mansion to add to your already burgeoning collection….if anything, probably a few at the top would maybe move abroad….but even if they did…lets be honest…there is always going to be someone to replace them….this isn’t  star wars…bankers aren’t Jedi’s who need to be rigorously trained in the  ’force’  that only a select few  are privy to, by skilled mentors…..Plus if the top echelon can f*** up so badly what is the big deal about someone on a lower salary f*****g up aswell… only difference is their is a saving made with the latter *kerching*.

So in general…bankers bashing is something that should carry on till these damn bankers decide to get ‘real’ and face up to ‘reality’. People are loosing jobs here and there and are generally suffering in a recession that was brought on by people who probably wouldn’t realise their was a recession on if it wasn’t for the news outlets. I’m not saying that the government are innocent in all this, like i said they are facilitating all this by playing along with this whole ‘its-not-all-my-fault-please-pity-poor-old-me’ act put on by bankers…and it doesn’t exactly bypass me that some of the funding received by the Tories and other parties generally come from people who benefit from the financial sector. I’m just sick of people giving the bankers the time of day to whine about their over-inflated wages not being inflated enough….look…if anything…..when bankers are doing well you could argue they deserve to get bonuses…fine..sure…just make sure those bonuses are tied up to their banks shares…then they have an added incentive to not risk our savings on quick-term money fixes. Everyone is a happy trooper then…and if we get f****d …then at least we will have a bit of solace in the fact that they are getting f****d to …even if it’s just a bit

Till next time,

 

Confession

Ok….I have a confession to make of sorts….ever since Bush left the white house I’ve felt something has been missing in my life and in the life of politics in general….. comedy…..the guy was a one-man stand up comedic show……. he was the modern-day Court Jester…..he was, and excuse the reference if you aren’t Arab, the western Jo7a…. he came up with phrases and quotes that left you at first…shocked that anyone could mess up so badly… then laughing your ass off and alerting every Tom, Dick and Harry about the said phrase…. he single-handedly I believe *with no evidence to support this* helped boost the profits of company’s selling posters  aimed at students *glances back at wall with a ‘Bushism, great quotes of our time’ poster*. He was plentiful in his comedic contributions….and what was great about him….was he wasn’t even aware of his so-called talent to make people laugh…..he was crap and useless at everything else..like on the verge of not being able to be trusted to make toast useless….but boi could he make a simple speech/qs and answer session turn into a right old knees up laugh fest.

So what do we do know when we are feeling down and low-in-the-IQ region about ourselves? when we feel like nothing is possible? We no longer have Bush to single-handedly reassert the fact that because he can be given the most powerful job in the world that anything is within reach no matter how unqualified you are or deserving you are of your goal. Has that American dream of anyone being a somebody been dashed to the curb with Bush having upped and left?

Well I say to you all….don’t despair…their IS hope…..Where I hear you call….where else…in the USA of course….Who I hear you ask? Sarah freaking-self-confessed-mama-grizzly-Palin

I have a love hate relationship with that woman….mainly hate…but the love shines through every time  I find myself searching for a new butt to a joke. Now don’t get me wrong…I don’t want her as president of the USA….I just don’t mind her dilly dallying about on the fringes of politics to add a bit of light-hearted fun to a serious arena….

And though at first I didn’t understand why Sarah Palin would want to call herself mama grizzly, I soon saw the light when a saw a picture of a mama grizzly….the resemblance is UNCANNY. If you don’t believe me, take a crack at it below;

Took me some tiiiiimeeeee and effort to be able to differentiate and label the two correctly, but in the end the effort paid off….Never have I been more proud of my spot the difference abilities, it’s a talent, you either got it or you don’t.

So basically in summary..women is a comedic giver.. the balance of life is once again restored….Hallelujah

Till next time

 

Wikileaks….leaking and dumping

Firstly….who came up with the word  ’dump’ to describe Wikileaks  massive release of secret government memos? Shouldn’t it be more of a flood? Since the website is called Wiki-leaks….not man-rushing-to-get-to-toilet-after-a-few-to-many-vindaloos. Not only that but the layout that greets when you open the site…..well…..check it out for yourself:

http://213.251.145.96/

For a minute there I had to double-take before realising that no I had not stumbled upon a James bond-esque fan page but was actually on the Wikileaks page with the added grace of Julian’s Assange’s most thought-provoking pose….It’s like he is staring straight at me no matter where I position myself….Mona Lisa, you seem to have a contender vying for your throne of creepyness.

That of course is beside the point of this post. I’m going to avoid discussing Julian Assange himself and focus instead on the website. The topic has of course died off recently but has solicited polarised reactions in the public upon its release, dividing people generally between the camps of oh-no-he-didn’t and the oh-yes-he-did. Personally I think the issue resides somewhere in between though leaning more towards beneficial then a downright affront ….but first…lets touch upon the argument’s.

So one of the issues critics have with the Wikileaks ‘dump’ of information is that it basically hinders the working of diplomacy. They argue some things need to be kept secret because if they aren’t then diplomats will avoid voicing their true concerns through memos in fear of them being released and therefore them being exposed. It’s a simple case of if diplomats in foreign countries can’t rely the true facts of what’s going on in the grounds to their own governments it will obviously hamper state relations. And as we all know, what  governments say to other governments publicly isn’t necessarily what they say about them privately. And its not something alien, it’s something we do as people on a day-to-day basis, e.g. Iv heard Paul is a right old prick who dabbles in drugs on the side but because I happen to work with Paul whenever I greet him it’s all sugar and spice and everything nice. The aspect of states being two-faced to each other isn’t necessarily an issue when it revolves around petty matters i.e. how Sensitive and temperamental Nicolas Sarkozy is.

But it does of course matter  with big issues, but that isn’t really a point worth discussing as  much of the info revealed was generally low down in the secrecy stakes. Which then brings me on to my next point, the whole drama about how shocking and revealing the leaks where and how they need to be stopped as a matter of US state security. Calls where made that Julian Assange *public figurehead of Wikileaks* should be hunted down like Osama bin laden, jailed, assasinated etc. point is Boy should be stopped one way or another. This argument is in itself absurd, because lets face it, the only person genuinely shocked by the Wikileaks revelations was probably Sarah Palin…..and to be honest, the same shock and awe could have been attained if you’d handed her a map:

Mama Grizzly herself aka Sarah Palin: Africa ain’t a country? it’s a continent? Well ill be damned

Please do be damned if it gets you to stop wasting our time with your constant drivel….  I digress, point is, Anyone who knows anything about politics will know that most of the revelations where already known. But what the leaks did do was solidify the fact that this info was also known by the governments and by their diplomats….if anything…it strengthened slightly the faith in diplomats as it actually meant that the lack of public commentary by the government officially wasn’t due to lack of info from the ground.  So in a sense the leaks where helpful to that affect as well as to alerting the general public of info known by a select few groups.

But another strong argument levied against the Wikileaks revelations was that the diplomats or people mentioned in the memo would be in danger off repercussions for simply voicing their opinion….this is of course a valid point …and it’s one of the issues I do feel that actually bare weight, names should be omitted because if its simply the information we seek who imparts it should be of no concern. I of course do acknowledge that Wikileaks did attempt to contact the US state department to attain their take on which names should be omitted but where rebutted….but nevertheless, some names are shown to be omitted though not all…which I think if addressed would help stem that aspect of the criticism.

Generally….the existence of Wikileaks or something similar to that effect is here to stay, this is something that cannot be stopped once it has started. And that should be viewed generally as more of a good thing then a bad as transparency is of course a vital aspect of democracy and if not applied leads the governments actions to go unchecked by the public and media…..well….I say media… but truly…the media in this day generally, not in all cases, is becoming more and more complacent and less and less intrusive…this is an affect we see more starkly in the US where Fox news is seen by the public to be the most ‘trustworthy’  source of news even though recent findings emerged to show that fox viewers, compared to any other US network, where more likely to be misinformed. Anyone outside the US *and even informed groups within the US* can clearly see that Fox is as trustworthy as a banker-with-anyone-else’s-money…..I don’t even need to expand on that analogy….you get the point….so with the advent of  internet sites like Wikileaks it’s an interesting twist on how news and checks on government activity will occur in the future….the internet will no doubt wrangle as many chains in the Journalistic world as it has in the music and film world.

Till Next time