Gaddafi’s Pearls of Wisdom

So I came across something that I think best sums up Gaddafi’s mental state pre-revolution… And what’s amazing is it’s all in his own words. It was in arabic so I thought I’d better translate it so more people can appreciate the C-R-A-Z-Y. I’ve tried my best to make sure nothing is lost in translation meaning-wise

After reading this you will be thinking what I’m thinking. Which is someone better look into whether or not george bush is aware of the fact that he has a long lost Libyan brother/father/uncle/son/relative who goes by the name of Gaddafi!

So without further ado, I present to you some famous and memorable quotes by Gaddafi:

Woman have a right to run (For election) regardless of whether they are male or female

Dear people, if it wasn’t for electricity we would be sat watching T.V in the dark.

I’m not a dictator to restrict facebook… But I’ll capture whoever goes on to it.

Demonstrate in whatever way you like, just don’t come out onto the streets and squares

I will stay in Libya until I die or until my time is up.

Being obedient to one’s parents is more important than doing what your mother and father say.

Shakespeare is originally an Arab Muslim, his real name is Sheikh Zubier

And to further highlight the brilliance and intricacy of his mind he clearly seems to know what the greek word democracy means. And this might surprise you all, but the definition you have been all taught which claims that ‘demo’ stands for people ‘cracy’ for rule *which put together means rule by the people* is actually wrong. Gaddafi hit the nail on the head when he broached this subject, ‘demo’ means ‘leaders’ *in Arabic: do3ama2′* and ‘cracy’ means chair *in Arabic: korsi* …therefore it ACTUALLY translates to leader on the chair and NOT the people on the chair.. psssssht all these foreigners claiming they KNOW what democracy actually means and misleading us…i have seen the light thankfully, democracy = dictatorship

It’s not much I know, but it’s all about quality over quantity with this dude….and boi does he deliver. And  to highlight the weird and wonderful *mainly weird* ways my brain works in i’ve even cooked up a little scenario of  the intellectual meeting of minds of Bush and Gaddafi below,

Till Next Time,

 

Libya: Where is the much needed Uproar & Concern?

I am so proud of what the Egyptians & Tunisians have achieved with their people’s revolutions…but i am ashamed at the people who have so swiftly abandoned the revolutions of the other countries in the middle east. People are still battling & risking their lives to attain those same dam rights that their fellow brothers have already attained…where is the uproar on facebook? the care and support? We are all humans and we all share the same dam earth… so why can’t we also share the same pain and suffering? Mubarak & Ben Ali have nothing on Gaddafi when it comes to the amount of cruelty that has and still is being inflicted on his people.

The nation of Libya is a small and minuscule one compared to that of Egypt and Tunisia…Estimates are:

Egypts population: 71 million!

Tunisia: 10 million!

Libya: 5.7 million

Already unconfirmed reports suggest the death toll has reached 300, with the least estimate being 200! That’s the death toll and the protests haven’t even reached their full swing…it’s has only been going on for a mere few days!

I don’t want to compare the numbers of dead with Egypt and Tunisia, as I think that would be a crass way of looking at things …the value of one life mercilessly lost is already one too many.

Gaddafi is also, unlike in Egypt and Tunisia, less restrained. The pull of the West that was ever present in Egypt and Tunisia is not as strong in Libya. The army’s there where backed & funded by the U.S & so could not directly be seen to slaughter their own citizens for fear it would taint the U.S and lead to their vital funding being pulled. Libya on the other hand is freer to do as it pleases in that sense…they have already started hiring African mercenaries to solely battle the protesters!

Also Libya is under the cloak of darkness. The journalists have been banned unequiovicaly from the start from entering Libya. Even News Channels like Al-jazeera have found it hard at times to access what’s going on directly, instead relying on libyans on the ground for updates. You can find proof of how hard it is to gain access into Libya by simply trying to search for pictures of the protests and what’s going on, most of the photos shown are only of pro-Gaddafi protesters as those are the ones distributed freely in the Libyan media.  This is in stark contrast with for say Egypt, where Cameras and the world-wide media eye & circus was ever present & focused on the situation.

All of these factors coupled together mean that Libya is more susceptible to being swept off the media agenda and maybe even forgotten. So please, the least we can all do, is to raise awareness off the tragic events occuring in Libya.

We are lucky to be born where we are, we take these rights that are awarded to us by the west for granted many times. We have never fortunatly had to fight tooth and nail for the right to speak freely, or protest etc.. Instead we have had people in the past do it for us. So i’m asking for you all to do the bare minimum in helping those people suffering in Libya and in other similar countries i.e. Bahrain, Yemen etc. . Just stay informed, inform others, and keep the people & protesters in both your thoughts and prayers.

And if you are interested in doing more for Libya and it’s people, read this informative note:

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=156771611045493&id=173489990204

Till Next time

 

How to make revolutions more appealing

Before you read any further i do warn you all that this is a light-hearted post so to speak so don’t take it literally and to heart.

Ok, so i thought i would do my bit for charity and post a helpful and useful post. We all know of someone who finds it hard & tricky to get their heads around what’s going on in the Middle East revolution-wise. So how do we rectify this? How do we break it down into a simpler bite-size form?

I think i might just have the answer: use Analogy’s…and in particular…football analogies.

Why football I hear you cry? It’s simply because no other sport can capture the hearts & minds of the majority of the world’s people so intensely. Proof being, every time there is a match on that involves a team of 11 over-paid-&over-valued footballers playing against another team of 11-over-paid-&over-valued footballers my facebook newsfeed blows up. People’s facebook statuses become alight with news and updates on what’s going on…it’s so mind-blowingly gripping that some people even manage in their excitement to mistake their facebook’s for an official football commentary channel….i am so well informed i feel like i am literally part of the team….if not on the pitch then at least on the subs bench

So how about we mould this enthusiasm and interest into a topic like the revolutions in the Middle East. Consider this a template:

Imagine the police/pro-government forces are one team, and the anti-government supporters are another….Disregard if you can the idea of a limit imposed on how many players you can have on a team…we are trying to be all-inclusive. Throw in an imaginary football whenever you are watching scenes of unrest between the two crowds. When they are clashing…the match is on….when they are not…it’s half time….One again…i stress the need also to eliminate the component of ‘time’ when you’re watching this ‘match’…If you can’t seem to do that think of it as ‘overtime’…it’s meant to cover all the wasted time the ‘dictators’ have been in power.

But where does the dictator fit into all these football shenanigans? Well he is the manager of the police/pro-government forces… whilst the manager of the opposing team is Mr common sense & dignity.

When the police/pro-government forces are using dirty underhand tactics against the anti-government supporters i.e. beating them, shooting at them etc. That’s their version of playing foul. So of course this should be met with a stern rebuttal by the referee.

Yes there is a ‘self-imposed’ referee in all this and its the international community…in specific …the leaders of the countries that really matter on the world stage…so yea…Imagine Obama or anyone from the U.S state department in a referee kit whenever they are making a speech…whenever you hear the words ‘restraint’ that’s a straight up yellow card….when the words are on the level of ‘transition’ you know things have gotten serious and big daddy is pulling out that red card.

Oh and before i forget, you must be wondering about the goalposts and how goals are actually scored. Well the overall goal is for either team to get their hands on the ‘throne of power’ trophy….the current holders of this trophy are the team headed by the ‘dictators’.  You can also think of the army as ‘goalkeepers’ for both teams, as they are the ones that really determine whether the goals can actually be scored or prevented.

So overall, this post is a messy business for anyone who has no clue what football is. But for everyone else, rejoice, this revolution can now be shared and watched by all football fans with as match fever and vigour as countless other football matches … albeit it being a match with a few ‘minor’ adjustments.

Till Next time,

 

Food for Thought: Ignorance & Hate

‘People tend to be frightened of what they don’t understand’

It’s a simple quote, but a quote which I think resonates perfectly with the times we find ourselves living in at the moment. It’s also a quote I picked up watching the ‘Big fat Gypsy Wedding’…for all those who don’t know what that is…. it’s a show on channel 4 that highlights some aspects of the customs and traditions of gypsies.

But the reason why I speak about it is because I feel partially ashamed. But before I get into that I need to back-track a bit. Just before I watched the final programme of ‘Big fat Gypsy wedding’ I watched a programme about Geert Wilder on BBC’s this world programme …there is of course no nice way of explaining who this detestable guy is, and it’s also unfortunate that anyone has to hear of his name. He is a prominent Dutch MP in Holland who spews hate-filled, factually inaccurate and ignorant comments directed strictly against  the faith of Islam and it’s followers  …he is also a card- carrying hard-line ardent Christian-Zionist…It’s something I believe which partially explains a lot of about where his views come from. The reason why he has become so prominent is because his party unfortunately currently holds 12% of the parliamentary seats in Holland.

But that fact that he exists and has some public backing shouldn’t be a complete surprise. It is, if anything, an expected occurrence especially if you consulate with the history books. This is because whenever there seems to be economic turmoil or hardships  the minorities/outsiders/immigrants are always targeted and blamed for the faults of an inherently unequal system….I wonder if the dear old bankers contemplate this when they moan about banker bashing…It’s always an indirect consequence of economic hardship that people use and find scapegoats to blame all the countries woes and troubles on…and with the rise of Extremist far-right  groups across Europe, unfortunately  the scapegoat this time around is Muslims and Islam.

It’s saddening to see inside these far right groups, so called people of faith lamenting another faith-group vehemently with hate…it’s especially saddening to see that a select few happen to be Jewish.  This is because it wasn’t so long ago that they were themselves on the unfortunate receiving end of this kind of incoherent hate… albeit of a much worse kind. But it seems that history is intent on repeating itself one way or another, be it under a different guise or form. And how does this occur? Simply put because of ignorance. As it is only ignorance unfortunately that seems to best survive and breed on simple fear and misinformation… As Mark Twain once put it, A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.

So to bring this article full circle, why do I feel bad after watching the final episode of the big fat gypsy wedding?

It’s because I realised, watching the last episode which dealt with the discrimination that gypsies faced, that I had fallen privy to the same mistake scores of people fall into everyday…that is to base my judgement of  people whom I’ve never met and whom I know nothing about on this one barely truly encompassing programme. I had done what many people had unfortunately done, treated this show and its participants as a joke and the people in it as uncultured or backward….but whom am I to judge and discriminate? How can  anyone claim to be a target of hate when they also harbour ill will to others? It’s not to say that you have to agree with everything they do or say, but to simply deal with some disagreements by slapping a label on the people you disagree with and turning your nose up at  them is in itself inherently reductionist and wrong.

Overall, I think none of the problems that we face in this world can simply be blamed willy-nilly on a marginalised group of people, the debate and problems we face are complex for a reason… So extremists should not insult our intelligence by suggesting otherwise. So for all those people who ask why they should bother with simply keeping in touch with what’s going on in the wider world…remembers this simple fact…by being ignorant, you are inadvertently building yourself up to be a perpetrator of prejudice and discrimination.

Till Next Time,

‘The Greatest Ignorance is to reject something you know nothing about’ - Anonymous

 

Viva La Revolution EGYPTIAN style!

Right off the bat I want to congratulate all the fearless Egyptians who have come out throughout these protests to voice their rights and unequivocally demand that they be recognized and heard. That also includes the many brave souls and hero’s who have risked and lost their lives in this movement. May you rest in peace and may your actions resonate throughout time in the hearts of every Egyptian. It’s a bittersweet moment knowing that those who risked the most cannot be part of the joy and celebration that all the Egyptians are participating in today

But I do think the question that people will be faced with after the celebrations and festivities  have died down will be what happens next? It’s important that things are not left up in the air as the revolution of change does not simply stop with the door hitting Mubarak forcefully on the way out. So here is my brief summary about some overall important points:

Firstly, the fact that Mubarak has been forced out is of course in itself an amazing achievement ..It’s also very powerfully symbolic as it shows that no leader can claim to be immune from the movement and will of his people… It’s also helps in making the remaining corrupt, dictatorial and autocratic Arab leaders hopefully shake uncontrollably in their custom-designed-fur-lined-dolled-up-gold-embroidered-slippers… in other words the demand for sleeping pills will shoot up drastically as restless nights take their toll…so if anyone is looking to make a quick buck that’s a heads up to which shares you should invest in. If the guy who gives extra strong super-glue a run for its dam money *on what can act as better adhesive to the throne of power* can eventually haul on out than ANYONE is susceptible to getting the Alan Sugar ‘Your fired’  dress down.

But Mubarak didn’t of course survive as long as he did in throes of power without having sweetened the deal for the people he has placed around him. So therefore anyone who is seen to be a dummy or cronie of Mubarak should be also swiftly shown the door….. preferably the door of the garbage disposal chute… when the disease -ridden head rolls the body should swiftly follow… and that includes that TWAT Suleiman who i think has proven that no matter who you are, there is always some prick waiting in the wings who will eclipse you at whatever area you choose to specialise in… in Mubarak’s case…that area is : Bastard-ness…yep Mubarak…you officially have someone you can favourably contrast yourself against..

These changes need to be coupled with a complete overhaul and reform of the flawed constitution and electoral process. This will allow things like limits to presidential term to be added so that no one else will be able to do a ‘Mubarak’….if the constitution and electoral process are not addressed fairly and properly, then the foundations of democracy will be weak and anything that is built on it will be inherently shaky and susceptible to failure.

And another thing is that caution should be exercised with regards to the military who are now effectively in power…. that is for the simple reason that Mubarak himself and the presidents that have preceded him have all come from the military……coupled with the fact that the many heads of the military are BFF’s with Mubarak … I heard they even have those tacky BFF necklaces  … someone needs to tell them that’s SO 2000 & late.. Plus the proof that they receive millions in funding from the U.S means that people should be wary of where their loyalties actually lie….And by the military I’m only really referring to the top brass…not the brave underlings who have generally shown that their loyalties are to the Egyptian people first and foremost.

So therefore the interm government that will rule and look after things till elections are actually held should include the opposition figures that have been instrumentally part off and supportive of the movements in and out of Tahrir square and who have stood firmly by the Egyptian people.

This is an unprecedented moment in the history of the Middle East and the momentum should not be lost as this change can hopefully reform not only Egypt’s destiny but the destiny of the whole region…

Egypt is, after all, Om El-Donia: Mother of the world

Till Next Time,

 

FML: mini Prequel to BS Part 3

I NEVER thought I’d have to cover his speeches as far as i have but what can i say…this guy has some NERVE….if the sequel was a flop you can only guess where the trilogy is going to land him with critics….what was worse…he modelled this piece of crap nearly word for word on the last piece of crap… didn’t even bother to spruce it up…I’m thinking along with the demands  of Mubarak taking a long overdue hike, protesters should also demand he take his dam speech writer with him….it’s a recession i know…but come on that’s no excuse….even my nan could have written a more appropriate and in-touch-with-reality speech…and she has passed away..R.I.P Nana.. sorry to drag your name into this sorry mess.

Not only did he not deliver once again on any one of the demands the people wanted…but he ALSO made people stomach his whole speech and appearance for nothing…It’s not easy to look at the human manifestation of the Muppet count Dracula… That shizzle is just un-natural to say the least.. He could have ATLEAST put a dam paper bag over his head…I’m thinking ‘just for men’ would have loved it if he did…their shares have dropped drasticly ever since people have realised how un-naturaly dark Mubarak’s hair is.

Until I get a transcript of the speech this lil mini-rant will have to do

As soon as I get it I will of course obligingly make it more palatable for the reader by adding some commentary…. At least you’ll know whatever ill add onto the speech will never be as bad as the tripe that’s already in the speech….

Till Next time,

 

BS Speech part 2: The Sequel

As we all know sequels usually flop…and this speech is no exception to that rule. So here we go again with another off-the-tracks speech orchestrated by Mubarak to answer the calls and cries of his people….In true off-my-god-dam-rocker form he has of course done anything but that and instead answered his own selfish calls to try and stay on for as long as possible….

I think this basically sums up Mubarak’s mental state: At one point near the end of the speech he refers to himself in THIRD person which is a clear sign of where he stands on the mental scale of things…off-his-freaking-head.

Once again here is the speech with added commentary:

WARNING: anyone allergic to CHEESE and BULLS**** should avoid going any further….also, anyone with a nut allergy should steer clear from this nut job’s speech to.

I talk to you during critical times that are testing Egypt and its people which could sweep them into the unknown *Because all they have known is my dam face for 30 god dam years*. The country is passing through difficult times and tough experiences which began with noble youths and citizens who practise their rights to peaceful demonstrations and protests, expressing their concerns and aspirations but they were quickly exploited by those who sought to spread chaos and violence, confrontation and to violate the constitutional legitimacy and to attack it *oooh crap…I’ve given away the plot for tomorrows riots by my thugs….crap…crap…I’ve really gotta think before I speak more often…come to think of it maybe I shouldn’t push myself mentally…I’ve only just learnt how to spell the word ‘democracy’ …kept reading it on the people’s signs so it kind of just sunk in… have no f’n clue what it means though.. a nickname for me? *.

Those protests were transformed from a noble and civilised phenomenon of practising freedom of expression to unfortunate clashes, mobilised and controlled by political forces that wanted to escalate and worsen the situation *that’s a shout-out to my beloved Egypt weezy crew and their camels, horses and donkey’s…RESPECT… riot if you can hear me bois… Literally*. They targeted the nation’s security and stability through acts of provocation theft and looting and setting fires and blocking roads and attacking vital installations and public and private properties and storming some diplomatic missions.

We are living together painful days and the most painful thing is the fear that affected the huge majority of Egyptians and caused concern and anxiety over what tomorrow could bring them and their families and the future of their country *as opposed to the fear the population held beforehand of  the secret services and the police… that’s the GOOD kind of fear…Just like Bacteria people…their are good and bad kinds.. think of the previous type of fear as the activia fear.. dam well good for you*.

The events of the last few days require us all as a people and as a leadership to chose between chaos and stability and to set in front of us new circumstances and a new Egyptian reality which our people and armed forces must work with wisely and in the interest of Egypt and its citizens

Dear brothers and citizens, I took the initiative of forming a new government with new priorities and duties that respond to the demand of our youth and their mission *and by that I mean my demands and the demands of…you guessed it my beloved and adored crew*. I entrusted the vice president with the task of holding dialogue with all the political forces and factions about all the issues that have been raised concerning political and democratic reform and the constitutional and legislative amendments required to realise these legitimate demands and to restore law and order but there are some political forces who have refused this call to dialogue, sticking to their particular agendas without concern for the current delicate circumstances of Egypt and its people *really hope this time no one calls my bluff…I used long and important sounding words people … so if it doesn’t impress you… what gives?*.

In light of this refusal to the call for dialogue and this is a call which remains standing, I direct my speech today directly to the people, its Muslims and Christians, old and young, peasants and workers, and all Egyptian men and women in the countryside and city over the whole country.

I have never, ever been seeking power and the people know the difficult circumstances that I shouldered my responsibility and what I offered this country in war and peace, just as I am a man from the armed forces and it is not in my nature to betray the trust or give up my responsibilities and duties * yea I never sought power…it sought me…It kept courting me and harassing me till I just had to give in…it sent flowers, chocolates and even wrote me touching love struck poems….I can’t help it people…I’m a sucker for romance…and since we have spent 30 blissful years together.. I can’t help but stick faithfully  by it…it loves me and I love it…and that’s all that matters…plus…it pays my hefty bills..*

My primary responsibility now is security and independence of the nation to ensure a peaceful transfer of power in circumstances that protect Egypt and the Egyptians and allow handing over responsibility to whoever the people choose in the coming presidential election.

I say in all honesty and regardless of the current situation that I did not intend to nominate myself for a new presidential term *Yea…i know my limits people…30 years or so is just about enough of Hosni Mubarak being president….out with the old and in with the new I say…the new being Gamal Mubarak…See I was planning to give u a new snazzier Mubarak upgrade till you guys messed it up*. I have spent enough years of my life in the service of Egypt and its people

I am now absolutely determined to finish my work for the nation in a way that ensures handing over its safe-keeping and banner … preserving its legitimacy and respecting the constitution

I will work in the remaining months of my term to take the steps to ensure a peaceful transfer of power *from me to someone else like me…I’m taking this search for a tribute act of me seriously*.

According to my constitutional powers, I call on parliament in both its houses to discuss amending article 76 and 77 of the constitution concerning the conditions on running for presidency of the republic and it sets specific a period for the presidential term. In order for the current parliament in both houses to be able to discuss these constitutional amendments and the legislative amendments linked to it for laws that complement the constitution and to ensure the participation of all the political forces in these discussions, I demand parliament to adhere to the word of the judiciary and its verdicts concerning the latest cases which have been legally challenged. * I have no idea what all I just said means.. Thank god for speech writers.. come-to-think of it I don’t think I’ve ever read the constitution….I thought the constitution was simply whatever came out of my mouth…you learn something new every day I suppose*.

I will entrust the new government to perform in ways that will achieve the legitimate rights of the people and that its performance should express the people and their aspirations of political, social and economic reform and to allow job opportunities and combating poverty, realising social justice *shit I think I just mixed up my notes…don’t think anyone will realise that I’m harping on about the same crap I harped on about in my first speech.. if they do…ill just say I’m doin my bit for the environment and simply recycling.. can’t argue with my green fingered-ness*.

In this context, I charge the police apparatus to carry out its duty in serving the people, protecting the citizens with integrity and honour with complete respect for their rights, freedom and dignity. I also demand the judicial and supervisory authorities to take immediately the necessary measures to continue pursuing outlaws and to investigate those who caused the security disarray and those who undertook acts of theft, looting and setting fires and terrorising citizens *Dam should have worded that more selectively…under those rules I’m as good as f***** *.

This is my pledge to the people during the last remaining months of my current term:

I ask God to help me to honour this pledge to complete my vocation to Egypt and its people in what satisfies God, the nation and its people. *This religion card NEVER gets old.*

Dear citizens, Egypt will emerge from these current circumstances stronger, more confident and unified and stable. And our people will emerge with more awareness of how to achieve reconciliation and be more determined not to undermine its future and destiny.

*Someone call up the nearest mental institute and reserve a bed because we have a right old cracker coming in*> Hosni Mubarak who speaks to you today is proud of the long years he spent in the service of Egypt and its people. This dear nation is my country, it is the country of all Egyptians, here I have lived and fought for its sake and I defended its land, its sovereignty and interests and on this land I will die and history will judge me and others for our merits and faults. The nation remains. Visitors come and go but ancient Egypt will remain eternal, its banner and safekeeping will pass from one generation to the next. It is up to us to ensure this in pride and dignity.

So once again…he is managed to pull off another BS heavy speech…and in such a short time…what a ‘special’ person.

Till Next time,