As the barrage of emails from Assad and his wife keep coming new gems are being unearthed in these personal correspondences. Not one for unequal relations between the sexes *raise that feminist flag gurl*, Asma has been found to be emailing her friends saying SHE is in actual fact the ‘real dictator’ in her family. Now I get what she sees in Bashar… herself.
Another thing that was revealed in the emails was a joke she forwarded to her friends and family regarding the people of Homs, or more specifically, the students. The joke alludes to the fact that the student’s in Homs are dumb & stupid with a faux answer and question sheet being attached of a supposed Homs student’s answers to a test. An example of a question would be:
Q: In which battle did Napoleon die in?
A: His last battle.
*Clap clap*. Now even IF this was true and the students were to answer these questions in that manner, I would personally hi-5 them for their wit and creativity, something that the Neanderthal Assad clan are CLEARLY lacking.
But regardless of this, the interesting thing to note is that Asma Al-Assad’s family are actually originally from Homs. So looks like the real joke is on her. Bless her lack of foresight, her logic clearly makes me wonder if there is any truth to that email after all… well… in her family’s case anyways.
So over this past week there have been a barrage of Assad’s personal emails leaked to the press and it has given an interesting insight into the personal and private life of one of the world’s most hated figures. Amidst all the chaos, mayhem and bloodshed that is currently occurring in Syria one wonders what goes on in the head of Bashar Al-Assad…. And the answer is unsurprisingly, not much. There are no real bombshells hidden amongst the emails but nonetheless the emails do help in shedding some light on what is actually going on at the top of a well renowned secretive and exclusive regime.
So here is a brief round-up of 3 things I found most humorous:
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1) His Humour: Twisted
How do we know this? Assad apparently sent a Youtube video link which re-enacted the bloody siege of Homs using toys and biscuits to amuse an aide. This guy, whilst everyone else is busy amusing themselves with funny and cute cat and baby videos he is out there LOL’ing at a bloody crackdown on his own people… which HE is instigating. I get that cat video’s are ‘too mainstream’ man but this is the wrong ‘hipster’ approach to it. Its more ‘Creepster’ if anything.
But to be honest, Ima give the dude the benefit of the doubt. Knowing him, he probably got confused and thought this video was actually a live recording of events on the ground. You see, with all that crap the Syrian State TV is pouring out it must be very hard to distinguish fact from fiction. And in this case, toy’s and biscuits probably seem just as plausible as any propaganda report that has been churned out by his beloved State TV. IF anything…. the video is probably more factual.
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2) His wife: shopping like there is no tomorrow
While Bashar is busy handling important state affairs like downloading the newest Chris Brown track (Team Breezy) and linking to his favorite educational videos on Homs, his wife was making a real difference and impact….. on their bank accounts. Woman reportedly dropped $10,000 pounds in Paris on some candlesticks. Now correct me if I’m wrong, but since when did anyone need to spend that much on candlesticks? Has no one alerted the woman of the advent of electricity? Even the gluttonous Kings who ruled in the Dark ages are turning in their graves at the thought of that much wonga being spent on candlesticks. Unless she dropped that amount on a bunch of candles she plans to send to the many areas in Syria which are currently being besieged by her husband’s security forces I see no good reason why she did what she did. Hell, the figure 10,000 and the word candle should never be in the same sentence together… Ever!
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3) His Love life: Saucy
Well ‘ello ‘ello. Look what we have here. The above picture was sent to Bashar by a yet unidentified confident of his.
Now putting aside the fact that this girl is clearly a desperate hussy, one begs the question, how does this guy do it? This guy has got the face of a muppet and the personality of a puppet … he isn’t a catch but more of a loss, and that’s putting aside all the blood he has on his hands. Yet he still seemingly has woman swooning over him. I have never understood the appeal of a repressive dictator let alone a mass murdering one. From Mubarak’s wife, to Ben Ali’s wife, to Bashar’s wife etc. it seems like a heartless, corrupt and bloodthirsty git is not a turn off. Do these women have no ounce of self-respect or worth? Aren’t we woman supposed to be the nurturing, caring and loving ones? Yet we find so many of this high-profile woman shirking this maternal side to them and sticking by their barely there men. There is no rhyme or reason to why they would sell their morals down the river &….oh wait .. hold up…. *re-reads point number 2* …oooooh I see it. One word: Kerching. Money makes the world go round and apparently, these woman’s love lives aswell. It’s all about the dolla dolla bills.
Apparently in these woman’s cases, some things aren’t priceless, and for everything there is Mastercard.
So if the name Kony means nothing to you I suggest you firstly:
A) relocate yourself from under that quaint little rock u’v been living under and
B) watch the attached Youtube clip below before reading this article…
So ever since this clip became a viral sensation last Tuesday night the internet and media have been alight with debate and discussion over not only the organizations credentials but its aims. There have been a plethora of replies criticisms and backlashes over the whole campaign. So I thought it best to maybe put all this in perspective and answer some of the criticisms. Bearing in mind that this article won’t necessarily vouch for the organization itself but focus on the impact the organization has made.
Firstly let’s get one thing straight, this campaign has already achieved one of its aims. That is it has made KONY a ‘celebrity’ and pushed this reclusive figure and oft forgotten warlord onto the world stage and subsequently onto the radar of the mainstream media. Whether we like it or not, and whether you agree with the campaigns aims or not, the fact people are talking about Kony is a PLUS because it means that he isn’t confined to international purgatory and is subsequently no longer ‘out of sight and out of mind’.
By the force of people sharing this clip some people have conversely started thinking deeper about this issue and have flung open the debate on this topic. I think that’s a positive in itself because it is only through an open and healthy debate that issues can be resolved. Ironically, some of the campaigns harshest critics wouldn’t have had the platform they have now to discuss their views on this issue if it wasn’t for the video they so loudly denounce.
Another major complaint about the video is that the people who are tweeting, sharing and spreading the word about this campaign are meerily ‘jumping’ on a bandwagon engaging no critical thought on the debate and are merely acting as mindless sheep. To this I say, yes, but so what? I’d rather have these drones tweeting and talking about Kony then sharing their qualms over which celebrity is dating who and what Justin Beiber has decided to do with his hair. Because at the end of the day the blather of these sheep does help in amplyfing the issue to the ears of people who do genuinely care. Also, I am not one to belittle any sense of educational knowledge of Kony and his atrocities being imparted on this generation no matter how basic this knowledge is.
Another issue which links to this issue of the people who are spreading this campaign being seemingly ‘under-educated’ would be some of the posts I have come across which condescendingly state; ‘I’ll listen to you about Kony if you sow me where Uganda is on a map’
Now excuse me if I am wrong, but just because someone is not a walking talking geography book doesn’t mean they lack the means to empathize and care about an issue. That isn’t to say I don’t encourage them to find out more about Uganda just that these type of posts don’t really prove much of a point. Empathy isn’t tied up with a knowledge of the world’s borders. There are hundred’s of countries around the world and in every country there is bound to be some form of injustice occurring no matter how big or small. Plus since we are talking about peoples geographic knowledge, why not take this thought process a step further and demand people know the city locations of some areas that are being attacked i.e. How many people know where Homs or Baba Amar are located in Syria?
Another thing that has grinded my gears is this talk about the linking up of the Kony campaign to the U.S’s hegemonic interests. Firstly, let’s get one thing straight, it wasn’t the government who initiated this campaign, it’s a campaign which has been in the making for 9 years and has been largely ignored by the government for these 9 years. So it isn’t simply an overnight phenomonan but a project which was years in the making. Secondly, the U.S won’t invade Uganda over Kony, it has no reason to. This is because as the campaign itself points out on its website and in the video, the conflict has moved on from Uganda to other areas in Africa. So Kony is no longer at large in Uganda, though of course the aftermath of his presence in the country can still be felt.
Thirdly, people need to differentiate between ‘military advisors’ and ‘combat troops’. These 100 of military advisers in Uganda aren’t G.I. Joe and aren’t waging an ‘Expandables’ type war on the nations grounds. All they are doing is simply advising the Ugandan military on how to best capture Kony. Which in my regards, is fairly docile. Plus, people need to wake up, there are a plethora of American military bases stationed around the world which do similar things which no one is kicking up a fuss about. It’s just that people always like to think in conspiracy terms when it comes to dealing with these global issues, its all about being ‘hipster’ and sticking it to the powers that be. Its more exciting to think of the world as a Hollywood production stage and that every issue has clearly delineated bad and good guys with an intricate plot to unravel.
Yes Uganda has oil, and the military advisors in Uganda have not been sent there because the U.S. has suddenly seen the light and is determined to make sure justice is carried out. At the end of the day, as the clip itself briefly mentions, the U.S. largely ignored Uganda’s plight because it wasn’t in their foreign policy interests to intervene. In other words, the U.S had nothing to gain from helping Uganda. So what gives? Why the sudden change of heart? The sending of troops and assistance of sorts are tried and tested mechanism the U.S and other foreign countries have used before which help in building diplomatic links with countries. We for example, send you troops to advise your military as a sign of ‘good will’ and we will surely be rewarded with some oil will.
The last thing I want to comment on is something that I truly find disheartening. This issue revolves around the incessant need to compete between different casues. i.e. between massacres as in x, y, z amount of people have died in this conflict and everyone is campaigning about Kony killing x,y, z amount of people. This is the COMPLETE wrong attitude, you may be a Syrian for example but you could just have easily been born a Ugandan. You can’t call yourself a humanitarian if you close your heart off to the rest of humanity. ANY life lost no matter where is a life to many and every injustice deserves to be heard. But in trying to raise awareness of an injustice don’t trample on other people’s pain or belittle their cause to gain some ground. Because at the end of the day it’s NOT a competition.
Old Muhammad Ali interview> Q: how do you feel about the 9/11 attackers sharing your faith. A: How do you feel about hitler sharing yours? 16 hours ago
