‘Statesman’, ‘Salesman’ or plain ol’ git?

So the inspiration for this post comes from David Cameron’s recent lil treck round the Middle East *I know I know.. I am so early with these posts you’re questioning if I’m actually an Arab after all*. There was controversy surrounding his trip, but before I get into those details how about we pander to the whims of the current government and describe what they would like you to think happened:

After the brave Egyptians followed the example of the Tunisian people and overthrew their corrupt dictator Mr Cameron decided to valiantly ride his metaphorical white horse and head straight to the Middle East to congratulate the recent success of the Egyptians in Tahrir Square. Being the big-hearted man that he is he didn’t restrict his visit just to Egypt, no, he made the effort to spread the love around in the region and show his support, goodwill and solidarity with the Arab people who had fought so tirelessly for justice, democracy and freedom. Also by being the first western leader to grace the shores of the Middle East since the revolutionary atmosphere had first begun, Mr. Cameron was honorably setting a high-standard precedent for other less courageous leaders to hopefully follow in his graceful footsteps.

Oh that Cameron, such a strong-willed charismatic and moral leader. *swoon*

Well…unfortunately we don’t live in the world of make-believe and fairytale. Instead we have to deal with the crass and cumbersome harsh light of reality.

In actual fact this trip to the Middle East was planned ages ago and had nothing to do initially with the revolutions we see sweeping across the Middle East. Instead it had more to do with an important Arms trade fair that was going to be occurring in Abu Dhabi…yes…girls we aren’t the only ones who are susceptible to the shopping frenzy…our grown-ass male leaders seem to have a soft spot for it to. Mr Cameron being the ‘great’ leader had planned to go to this fair and use this all-round trip to generally hawk off British arms to the so called ‘leaders’ of the Middle East with the help of his delegation of arms manufacturers.

To be honest, I just think Mr Cameron has probably watched Sex and the City 2 and seen how Carrie and the girls flew off to this exotic middle eastern region in Abu Dubai and thought ‘I want me some of that’. But of course to save face he had to bring in some ‘macho’ into the equation and so instead of the sex and the city girls of ‘Miranda, Charlotte & Samantha’ he brought along the British arms dealers. And with them in tow he could set off for the joys of sun, sand and selling-arms-to-corrupt-undemocratic-repressive-arab-leaders-to-make-a-quick-buck in the Middle East.

But on a serious note, what an utter affront and disrespect to the many brave souls who have lost their lives and are STILL loosing their lives fighting in these revolutions. The LEAST he could have done was at least to suspend and postpone the arm selling aspect of his trip considering the circumstances. Especially when you are selling them to current undemocratic dictators ….just WTH …the nerve of him to stand in Tahrir square and extoll the notions of democracy, freedom, human rights etc. and praise the virtues of the revolutionary uprising and then to simply hop-skip it to  nearby dictatorship countries and sell some more arms beggars belief.

No words can rightfully completely justify and excuse their actions..…but with them being in the profession of politics you can ALWAYS rely on them to try and give excuses to legitimate their sorry actions. So here are a few I have heard/read:

Cameron actually cancelled his appearance at the actual Arms fair: oh yes .. thank you for that Cameron…that’s really what matters…not the fact that your arm’s  dealer BFF’s have been flown in with you and are STILL selling their wares and arms .. It was the idea of you being their personal Pin-Up model at the fare that really grinded our gears. A publicity stunt at the arms fair like you are some hired Paris Hilton totty at a club we can’t stomach….the actual issue of the arms still being sold by the people you have flown in as part of your delegation is dismissible.

Only a quarter of the people who flew out with him where part of the arms group: Stop the PRESS! ONLY a quarter? My bad, My bad, and here was I thinking it was a THIRD of your delegation. If that’s the case that’s just A-OK…but it best be EXACTLY a quarter…anything above that is asking for trouble. Has no one told you that anything-above-of-a-quarter –of-whatever-delegation-you-are-taking is a crowd? Too-many-people-over-a-quarter-of-your-delegation spoil the broth? Don’t worry you haven’t heard these age old-sayings because now you are in the know.

If we don’t sell arms to them then other countries will: Wow…Really? Would you allow this choice of phrase or excuse in any other circumstance?  I.e.  Hey don’t get your panties in a twist, if WE didn’t sell Iran/Al-Qaeda/Syria/Every-Tom-Dick-and-Harry-that’s-on-the-wests-axis-of-evil-list nuclear weapons then someone else would have … *shucks*…you KNOW it’s all about the profit margin ay?

The leaders won’t actually use most of the weapons sold on their people as they are more warfare than internal repression arms: Yes so maybe for example, Saudi Arabia won’t use F-16 bombers on their people. That will mainly be because of the fact that even if they wanted to they probably can’t. .. many of the arms that are sold to the gulf states and other states in the region are to high-tech and advanced for the countries to actually operate or even maintain or sustain in workable conditions without help from the west. So why do these leaders buy these weapons? It’s mainly because the ‘politicians’ who buy these weapons for their country usually skim off or get some commission from the transaction. This therefore means the countries MONEY is being wasted in corrupt ways to benefit the pockets of the few over the mass of the countries people.

So in conclusion, Mr. Cameron is not simply a TYPICAL political git …. Cameron ‘luv’, please leave the blatant and insulting two-faced aspect of your current approach to politics to THEEEE experts…by experts I mean dam COINS and Tony Freaking lar-di-dar- Blair. Put to rest the cheap knock-off tribute act to your apparent idol Tony Blair. It’ll be not only for our own good, but yours. There is only so much ‘bastardisation’ one can handle in the world, and the quota is currently full to the brim.

Till Next Time,

P.S I didn’t make this picture myself, stumbled upon it and thought it fitted the post perfectly

Here is link if your interested:

http://www.schnews.org.uk/archive/news760.php

 

Let’s Hope She Shops Till She Bloody Well Drops

So the news story I found this week I think really puts the O in OH-HELL-NO.

The story involves Tunisia’s former ‘president’ Ben Ali’s wife, Leila Ben Ali who like her husband is currently in hiding in Saudi Arabia having hauled ass out of Tunisia. The woman just seems to want to get in on the ‘the-despised-as-hell-and-hated’ clique… but don’t judge her just because she is stealing the evil limelight from her hubby, get with the times people, she’s getting her feminist groove on and just practising the notion of Equality for all in ALL respects…be it good or bad.

What happened  is that before she escaped the country she headed to the main bank reserve and demanded to have gold withdrawn and handed to her in the tune of 35 million pounds… When the man in charge questioned this order she said it was for security reasons *yea the most secure place apparently in her mind is under the ownership of the very same people the country is trying to revolt against and get their hands on*. She then got her hubby/man-main/bue on the phone to reassert the ‘validity’ of the order….suffice to say she got it and managed to hightail out the country in time before all hell broke loose.

Now I don’t know whyyyy people are frowning upon this because I think there is a purely *be it irrational* reason for her actions….it wasn’t just pure daylight robbery….there is an explanation for this….that is an explanation that only Tony Blair could probably see….so im going to take this Tony-Blair-faced-with-damming-evidence-against-his-actions-by-the-Chilcot-inquiry-but-yet-managing-to-still-insist-his-innocence-by-grasping-at-barley-there-straws-and-twisting-words-and-situations-to-suit-his-defence-regardless-of-how-absurd-they-sound approach to this situation….which in simple lay man’s terms means I’m gonna act like a lawyer.

So both these defence points revolve around her claim to be taking this wealth to secure it and keep it safe…here we go:

Firstly, woman was securing the money and placing it in a safe place….it’s just she sees the vaults of Dubai mall’s designer shops *or any other mall or shopping district to that effect* being theeee ideal place to keep the money stashed….as you all know she is a lavish spender and therefore has first-hand experience with how when she hands money over in these places, they stay under lock and key.. they are so secure even she isn’t allowed near them once she has ‘deposited’ them at the cash till….and instead of a blatant and bait key to a safe she gets designer clothes, shoes, cars etc in exchange… Let’s just hope she remembers to keep a receipt because the types of places she shops at aren’t really big on refunds…especially when they ring into the millions

And if that doesn’t put your mind at ease how about this view, woman spends so much time abroad she has obviously heard about the recession and seen how welfare states react….you’re out of a job and on the dole….she just didn’t really grasp the full and simple concept of how benefits work…she just thought…hey…I’m out of a job so where’s my compensation at?….It was a rhetorical question of course….she just did the simple maths of money= banks and headed straight for what in her eyes a welfare unemployment benefits office should look like…she didn’t bother to ask whether or not Tunisia even provided welfare…she just thought it was a given since she had been getting a lot of money for doing absolutely nothing for quite some time she assumed it was the status quo…

Its jsut a simple case of someone with more money then sense, or to be more exact, too much money no dam sense.

And to all you people who don’t believe the hard evidence above abt how she could be misunderstood tell me this:

If she DID steal it theeeen whyyyyyyyyyyyyy would she head straight to a country whereeeee the punishment for stealing is one of the harshest…..she’s thick but even she must now that under Saudi rules her crime of stealing amounts to her very-well-manicured-and-invested-in-hand getting the chop….that’s especially a problem since she has spent a big part of her life spending money on designer gloves, among other things ofcourse … that’s a monetary loss if I ever saw one.

Overall, this story goes to show that some people really are void of any type of emotional and cognitive thought when it comes to the world around them…she is a joke and her family is a disgrace….lets hope the people of Tunisia get the justice they deserve and that people like her get the punishment they have so truly earned.

Till Next time,

 

Love the way You Lie

Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that’s alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that’s alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

It looks like me stumbling across a song that fits a political situation is going to be a regular occurrence…Don’t blame me…blame the music…. It’s like the song was tailor-made as a soundtrack to this event ….Is it coincidence that the song came out around the time of the event? Conspiracy? I think not as I doubt Rihanna and Eminem had any inkling of the political message they mirror in their song, but regardless they have hit the proverbial nail on the head.

So what am I exactly on about? Is it the love-in of Nick Clegg and David Cameron? Are you crazy? of course not, I didn’t say the song was ‘We belong together’ by Mariah Carey, or ‘My Boo’ by Alicia keys and Usher, or a ‘Moment Like this’ by Kelly Clarkson, or ‘Everything I do (I Do It For You)’ by Brian Adams, or ‘crazy in love’ by Beyonce…..I could go on and on listing the whole back-catalogue of love songs ever created but that would just keep me typing away till death arrives at my doorstep…..and plus…im taking you have already gotten the point of the kind of relationship Nicky and Davey share *you don’t know it but that’s one of the ways they love to refer to each other, others are Romeo and Juliet, Jack and Rose etc.*

Wow….i think that was THEEE longest sidetrack ever..but what can i say….they inspire a lot.  So back to the main point, what am i referring to with regards to these lyrics? *drumroll….acrobats….juggling clowns…..fireworks….neon lights*

Bankers and their relationship with the government <3

It just screams domestic abuseeeee and i don’t need to tell you who’s the wife beater in this situation, the bankerssss. Why? Because they use and abuse as they please, get themselves into tricky situations which drag us all down, run back to the government asking for help and promising to change, then as soon as they are saved they are back to their dirty tricks again…no shame or regret…even Chris Brown is tutting at how they treat their woman.

So this all comes about mainly because the issue of Banker’s Bonus is yet to be resolved. With David Cameron exclaiming recently that ‘banker-bashing’ is not the way to go …. really? these people rolling in money can’t take a bit *or a lot* of criticism? obviously they weren’t taught that sticks and stones will break their bones but words will not hurt them….trust the abused to stick up for their man  *he loves me he really does…he just gets all caught up in the moment and doesn’t realise what he is doing…it’s my fault it really is*….in this case it really is David, yours and the governments fault. You act as facilitators for the bankers absurd actions and the fact you wont call their bluff on their claim that if you restrict their bonuses that the financial sector will take flight is just pitiful.

So what about the claim that the financial sector will move abroad if  their bonuses are restricted or taken away….really? A whole sector will decide to pack their bags and move on out abroad? Uproot their whole social network? Doubt it especially when they realise that a restriction on bonuses doesn’t mean you’ll be working on minimum wage…you’ll still be able to afford that nice Ferrari or mansion to add to your already burgeoning collection….if anything, probably a few at the top would maybe move abroad….but even if they did…lets be honest…there is always going to be someone to replace them….this isn’t  star wars…bankers aren’t Jedi’s who need to be rigorously trained in the  ’force’  that only a select few  are privy to, by skilled mentors…..Plus if the top echelon can f*** up so badly what is the big deal about someone on a lower salary f*****g up aswell… only difference is their is a saving made with the latter *kerching*.

So in general…bankers bashing is something that should carry on till these damn bankers decide to get ‘real’ and face up to ‘reality’. People are loosing jobs here and there and are generally suffering in a recession that was brought on by people who probably wouldn’t realise their was a recession on if it wasn’t for the news outlets. I’m not saying that the government are innocent in all this, like i said they are facilitating all this by playing along with this whole ‘its-not-all-my-fault-please-pity-poor-old-me’ act put on by bankers…and it doesn’t exactly bypass me that some of the funding received by the Tories and other parties generally come from people who benefit from the financial sector. I’m just sick of people giving the bankers the time of day to whine about their over-inflated wages not being inflated enough….look…if anything…..when bankers are doing well you could argue they deserve to get bonuses…fine..sure…just make sure those bonuses are tied up to their banks shares…then they have an added incentive to not risk our savings on quick-term money fixes. Everyone is a happy trooper then…and if we get f****d …then at least we will have a bit of solace in the fact that they are getting f****d to …even if it’s just a bit

Till next time,