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Tag Archives: Hosni Mubarak

Casualty: Mubarak Addition

One of the things that had continually dogged the Mubarak trial had been the health status of Hosni Mubarak. With the ending of the trial on Saturday, which convicted Mubarak of having failed to intervene to stop the killings of protesters, questions regarding his deteriorating health continue to enlist coverage. Since the trials had begun Mubarak had been in and out of hospital and had also demanded to be carried into court on a stretcher re-emphasizing his overall ‘fragile’ state and health.

Now some of you may point to all this as simple theatrics. Some of you may point to Mubarak maybe having ulterior motives in his depiction of himself as a weak and frail man. So he can enlist sympathy? So he can engender concerns over a breach of his Human Rights? Maybe he has his eyes on a particular prize. An Emmy? Dare say an Oscar? Since he has lost the presidential seat he might be looking for a back-up career as a Hollywood method actor.

No No, I say. That is not what all this hoopla surrounding his health is about. It’s all a misunderstanding, and if anything, Mubarak has been in fact, wronged. Don’t believe me? Take a gander at some of the points listed below:

Firstly, Mubarak’s health further deteriorated on Monday after a visit from his wife Suzanne Mubarak who sobbed at the sight of Muabarak in his blue prison suit. I understand your pain Suzanne…. How could they do this to your husband? BLUE PRISION SUIT? Have you no sense of shame or ounce of morality Egypt? You know that BLUE isn’t his color. It clearly does nothing for his complexion and washes out his face without bringing due attention to his eyes. Savages.

But if this fashion faux pas isn’t enough to engender your sympathy for Mubarak then maybe recanting some of these events may sway you.  See if you can stomach this. Right after his sentencing on Saturday Mubarak was transferred directly from the court by helicopter to Cairo prison hospital. Mubarak reportedly cried and tried to resist leaving the helicopter. Why I hear you cry? Because Mubarak was insisting he instead be flown to his luxury suit were he had been held during his trial. Mubarak…selfless as always. You see Mubarak didn’t want to trouble the doctors and nurses in the hospital with his ailments as it would divert undue attention from their care of other patients at their facility and therefore inevitably lead to an increase in their workload. He, like the selfless hero he is, instead wanted to tough it out ‘bear- grylls’ style in the harsh and barren conditions of his luxury suite. Brave man…. Putting others before himself.

But then I hear you ask, why was he seen on a stretcher being carried in and out of court throughout his trial? Surely if the man is not well enough to walk into nor sit in court he should be in a proper medical facility which can afford him the treatment he so desperately needs rather than holed up in the confines of his luxury non-medical abode? To this I say you are misunderstanding the situation. This is a clear case of Hosni simply being thoughtful. The man was simply thinking of the health of the people carrying his stretcher. He saw that a few people needed some extra bicep and tricep action and so offered to be there ‘weight-training-man’. He was simply giving them their dose of exercise for the day which as any well informed individual knows, is integral to leading a healthy and balanced lifestyle.

But on a serious note, Mubarak, man the F’ up. The sympathy afforded to you and the treatment you have received while being held on trial is a million times more gracious than that afforded to the political dissidents, martyrs, protesters and revolutionaries whom you crushed, repressed, tortured and beat in your quest to retain power. The tears and theatrics you and your family spill mean nothing in the wake of the destruction and corruption of your rule. You have had the wish of having your son Gamal Mubarak moved to a nearby cell near you granted.  The people you held, tortured and who died in your prisons were never afforded the means to say farewell to their loved ones and family let alone having any of their wishes granted. They weren’t afforded luxury suits while they waited trial, hell most of them never even got a day in court to face the ‘charges’ brought against them.

They say you reap what you sow, but if that was true, you would be sowing a painful existence rather than a mere inconvenience to your living standards.

 

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Self-Destruction: You Are Doing It Right

On Sunday Ahmed Shafiq, one of the two remaining candidates still in the running for the Egyptian presidency, gave a press conference in a luxurious hotel in Cairo. In it he stated that ‘the Muslim Brotherhood is the old regime’ and by old regime, he means that of Hosni Mubarak’s.

Now, mudslinging between opponents is unfortunately nothing new. Going toe-to-toe in the verbal ring of insults is a common fixture in many countries campaign run’s for office, and it seems Egypt is no different.

What is interesting to note though is the choice of insult Ahmed Shafiq has chosen to use. Muslim Brotherhood part of the old regime? You get ‘em son. Right in the money maker. That’ll clearly discredit them in the minds of many as who wants to be associated with that Z lister has been. Mubarak? That’s SO 1981-2011. That fad is well and truly over.

Ballsy Shafiq, Ballsy. You got this son. Not only can this guy give a punch but he can clearly take one. He can so badly take one that he is just out there metaphorically punching himself. How I hear you ask?

Well because not only did Ahmed Shafiq serve in Mubarak’s government from 2002-11 as a Minister of Civil Aviation, he was also appointed Prime Minister by the Top dog for 33 days during the Egyptian Revolutions.

So as you can see, Shafiq is clearly adopting a Kamikaze style approach to this presidential race, going all-out fight club on his own ass.  Ain’t no-one gonna take down and discredit the Shafiq-inator…except Shafiq

Campaigning… you are doing it wrong Shafiq.

 

 

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Viva La Revolution EGYPTIAN style!

Right off the bat I want to congratulate all the fearless Egyptians who have come out throughout these protests to voice their rights and unequivocally demand that they be recognized and heard. That also includes the many brave souls and hero’s who have risked and lost their lives in this movement. May you rest in peace and may your actions resonate throughout time in the hearts of every Egyptian. It’s a bittersweet moment knowing that those who risked the most cannot be part of the joy and celebration that all the Egyptians are participating in today

But I do think the question that people will be faced with after the celebrations and festivities  have died down will be what happens next? It’s important that things are not left up in the air as the revolution of change does not simply stop with the door hitting Mubarak forcefully on the way out. So here is my brief summary about some overall important points:

Firstly, the fact that Mubarak has been forced out is of course in itself an amazing achievement ..It’s also very powerfully symbolic as it shows that no leader can claim to be immune from the movement and will of his people… It’s also helps in making the remaining corrupt, dictatorial and autocratic Arab leaders hopefully shake uncontrollably in their custom-designed-fur-lined-dolled-up-gold-embroidered-slippers… in other words the demand for sleeping pills will shoot up drastically as restless nights take their toll…so if anyone is looking to make a quick buck that’s a heads up to which shares you should invest in. If the guy who gives extra strong super-glue a run for its dam money *on what can act as better adhesive to the throne of power* can eventually haul on out than ANYONE is susceptible to getting the Alan Sugar ‘Your fired’  dress down.

But Mubarak didn’t of course survive as long as he did in throes of power without having sweetened the deal for the people he has placed around him. So therefore anyone who is seen to be a dummy or cronie of Mubarak should be also swiftly shown the door….. preferably the door of the garbage disposal chute… when the disease -ridden head rolls the body should swiftly follow… and that includes that TWAT Suleiman who i think has proven that no matter who you are, there is always some prick waiting in the wings who will eclipse you at whatever area you choose to specialise in… in Mubarak’s case…that area is : Bastard-ness…yep Mubarak…you officially have someone you can favourably contrast yourself against..

These changes need to be coupled with a complete overhaul and reform of the flawed constitution and electoral process. This will allow things like limits to presidential term to be added so that no one else will be able to do a ‘Mubarak’….if the constitution and electoral process are not addressed fairly and properly, then the foundations of democracy will be weak and anything that is built on it will be inherently shaky and susceptible to failure.

And another thing is that caution should be exercised with regards to the military who are now effectively in power…. that is for the simple reason that Mubarak himself and the presidents that have preceded him have all come from the military……coupled with the fact that the many heads of the military are BFF’s with Mubarak … I heard they even have those tacky BFF necklaces  … someone needs to tell them that’s SO 2000 & late.. Plus the proof that they receive millions in funding from the U.S means that people should be wary of where their loyalties actually lie….And by the military I’m only really referring to the top brass…not the brave underlings who have generally shown that their loyalties are to the Egyptian people first and foremost.

So therefore the interm government that will rule and look after things till elections are actually held should include the opposition figures that have been instrumentally part off and supportive of the movements in and out of Tahrir square and who have stood firmly by the Egyptian people.

This is an unprecedented moment in the history of the Middle East and the momentum should not be lost as this change can hopefully reform not only Egypt’s destiny but the destiny of the whole region…

Egypt is, after all, Om El-Donia: Mother of the world

Till Next Time,

 
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Posted by on February 11, 2011 in Egypt, Middle East, Serious-Comical

 

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FML: mini Prequel to BS Part 3

I NEVER thought I’d have to cover his speeches as far as i have but what can i say…this guy has some NERVE….if the sequel was a flop you can only guess where the trilogy is going to land him with critics….what was worse…he modelled this piece of crap nearly word for word on the last piece of crap… didn’t even bother to spruce it up…I’m thinking along with the demands  of Mubarak taking a long overdue hike, protesters should also demand he take his dam speech writer with him….it’s a recession i know…but come on that’s no excuse….even my nan could have written a more appropriate and in-touch-with-reality speech…and she has passed away..R.I.P Nana.. sorry to drag your name into this sorry mess.

Not only did he not deliver once again on any one of the demands the people wanted…but he ALSO made people stomach his whole speech and appearance for nothing…It’s not easy to look at the human manifestation of the Muppet count Dracula… That shizzle is just un-natural to say the least.. He could have ATLEAST put a dam paper bag over his head…I’m thinking ‘just for men’ would have loved it if he did…their shares have dropped drasticly ever since people have realised how un-naturaly dark Mubarak’s hair is.

Until I get a transcript of the speech this lil mini-rant will have to do

As soon as I get it I will of course obligingly make it more palatable for the reader by adding some commentary…. At least you’ll know whatever ill add onto the speech will never be as bad as the tripe that’s already in the speech….

Till Next time,

 
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Posted by on February 10, 2011 in Egypt, Middle East, Serious-Comical

 

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BS Speech part 2: The Sequel

As we all know sequels usually flop…and this speech is no exception to that rule. So here we go again with another off-the-tracks speech orchestrated by Mubarak to answer the calls and cries of his people….In true off-my-god-dam-rocker form he has of course done anything but that and instead answered his own selfish calls to try and stay on for as long as possible….

I think this basically sums up Mubarak’s mental state: At one point near the end of the speech he refers to himself in THIRD person which is a clear sign of where he stands on the mental scale of things…off-his-freaking-head.

Once again here is the speech with added commentary:

WARNING: anyone allergic to CHEESE and BULLS**** should avoid going any further….also, anyone with a nut allergy should steer clear from this nut job’s speech to.

I talk to you during critical times that are testing Egypt and its people which could sweep them into the unknown *Because all they have known is my dam face for 30 god dam years*. The country is passing through difficult times and tough experiences which began with noble youths and citizens who practise their rights to peaceful demonstrations and protests, expressing their concerns and aspirations but they were quickly exploited by those who sought to spread chaos and violence, confrontation and to violate the constitutional legitimacy and to attack it *oooh crap…I’ve given away the plot for tomorrows riots by my thugs….crap…crap…I’ve really gotta think before I speak more often…come to think of it maybe I shouldn’t push myself mentally…I’ve only just learnt how to spell the word ‘democracy’ …kept reading it on the people’s signs so it kind of just sunk in… have no f’n clue what it means though.. a nickname for me? *.

Those protests were transformed from a noble and civilised phenomenon of practising freedom of expression to unfortunate clashes, mobilised and controlled by political forces that wanted to escalate and worsen the situation *that’s a shout-out to my beloved Egypt weezy crew and their camels, horses and donkey’s…RESPECT… riot if you can hear me bois… Literally*. They targeted the nation’s security and stability through acts of provocation theft and looting and setting fires and blocking roads and attacking vital installations and public and private properties and storming some diplomatic missions.

We are living together painful days and the most painful thing is the fear that affected the huge majority of Egyptians and caused concern and anxiety over what tomorrow could bring them and their families and the future of their country *as opposed to the fear the population held beforehand of  the secret services and the police… that’s the GOOD kind of fear…Just like Bacteria people…their are good and bad kinds.. think of the previous type of fear as the activia fear.. dam well good for you*.

The events of the last few days require us all as a people and as a leadership to chose between chaos and stability and to set in front of us new circumstances and a new Egyptian reality which our people and armed forces must work with wisely and in the interest of Egypt and its citizens

Dear brothers and citizens, I took the initiative of forming a new government with new priorities and duties that respond to the demand of our youth and their mission *and by that I mean my demands and the demands of…you guessed it my beloved and adored crew*. I entrusted the vice president with the task of holding dialogue with all the political forces and factions about all the issues that have been raised concerning political and democratic reform and the constitutional and legislative amendments required to realise these legitimate demands and to restore law and order but there are some political forces who have refused this call to dialogue, sticking to their particular agendas without concern for the current delicate circumstances of Egypt and its people *really hope this time no one calls my bluff…I used long and important sounding words people … so if it doesn’t impress you… what gives?*.

In light of this refusal to the call for dialogue and this is a call which remains standing, I direct my speech today directly to the people, its Muslims and Christians, old and young, peasants and workers, and all Egyptian men and women in the countryside and city over the whole country.

I have never, ever been seeking power and the people know the difficult circumstances that I shouldered my responsibility and what I offered this country in war and peace, just as I am a man from the armed forces and it is not in my nature to betray the trust or give up my responsibilities and duties * yea I never sought power…it sought me…It kept courting me and harassing me till I just had to give in…it sent flowers, chocolates and even wrote me touching love struck poems….I can’t help it people…I’m a sucker for romance…and since we have spent 30 blissful years together.. I can’t help but stick faithfully  by it…it loves me and I love it…and that’s all that matters…plus…it pays my hefty bills..*

My primary responsibility now is security and independence of the nation to ensure a peaceful transfer of power in circumstances that protect Egypt and the Egyptians and allow handing over responsibility to whoever the people choose in the coming presidential election.

I say in all honesty and regardless of the current situation that I did not intend to nominate myself for a new presidential term *Yea…i know my limits people…30 years or so is just about enough of Hosni Mubarak being president….out with the old and in with the new I say…the new being Gamal Mubarak…See I was planning to give u a new snazzier Mubarak upgrade till you guys messed it up*. I have spent enough years of my life in the service of Egypt and its people

I am now absolutely determined to finish my work for the nation in a way that ensures handing over its safe-keeping and banner … preserving its legitimacy and respecting the constitution

I will work in the remaining months of my term to take the steps to ensure a peaceful transfer of power *from me to someone else like me…I’m taking this search for a tribute act of me seriously*.

According to my constitutional powers, I call on parliament in both its houses to discuss amending article 76 and 77 of the constitution concerning the conditions on running for presidency of the republic and it sets specific a period for the presidential term. In order for the current parliament in both houses to be able to discuss these constitutional amendments and the legislative amendments linked to it for laws that complement the constitution and to ensure the participation of all the political forces in these discussions, I demand parliament to adhere to the word of the judiciary and its verdicts concerning the latest cases which have been legally challenged. * I have no idea what all I just said means.. Thank god for speech writers.. come-to-think of it I don’t think I’ve ever read the constitution….I thought the constitution was simply whatever came out of my mouth…you learn something new every day I suppose*.

I will entrust the new government to perform in ways that will achieve the legitimate rights of the people and that its performance should express the people and their aspirations of political, social and economic reform and to allow job opportunities and combating poverty, realising social justice *shit I think I just mixed up my notes…don’t think anyone will realise that I’m harping on about the same crap I harped on about in my first speech.. if they do…ill just say I’m doin my bit for the environment and simply recycling.. can’t argue with my green fingered-ness*.

In this context, I charge the police apparatus to carry out its duty in serving the people, protecting the citizens with integrity and honour with complete respect for their rights, freedom and dignity. I also demand the judicial and supervisory authorities to take immediately the necessary measures to continue pursuing outlaws and to investigate those who caused the security disarray and those who undertook acts of theft, looting and setting fires and terrorising citizens *Dam should have worded that more selectively…under those rules I’m as good as f***** *.

This is my pledge to the people during the last remaining months of my current term:

I ask God to help me to honour this pledge to complete my vocation to Egypt and its people in what satisfies God, the nation and its people. *This religion card NEVER gets old.*

Dear citizens, Egypt will emerge from these current circumstances stronger, more confident and unified and stable. And our people will emerge with more awareness of how to achieve reconciliation and be more determined not to undermine its future and destiny.

*Someone call up the nearest mental institute and reserve a bed because we have a right old cracker coming in*> Hosni Mubarak who speaks to you today is proud of the long years he spent in the service of Egypt and its people. This dear nation is my country, it is the country of all Egyptians, here I have lived and fought for its sake and I defended its land, its sovereignty and interests and on this land I will die and history will judge me and others for our merits and faults. The nation remains. Visitors come and go but ancient Egypt will remain eternal, its banner and safekeeping will pass from one generation to the next. It is up to us to ensure this in pride and dignity.

So once again…he is managed to pull off another BS heavy speech…and in such a short time…what a ‘special’ person.

Till Next time,

 
 

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Definition of BS: Mubarak’s Speech

So after hearing the speech of Hosni Mubarak i was left in shock and awe…..for all the WRONG reasons….This guy makes Tom Cruise look grounded in reality…It’s only a guy that deluded that can see his own people raging against HIM and think….maybe I need to change the configuration of the crew I role with. Hosni, let’s get one thing straight on the get go…just BECAUSE people are screaming your name doesn’t mean they like you…it ISN’T a coincidence that its usually accompanied with the words ‘Down’ and ‘With’.

Regardless …I have managed to attain the speech for you that he made with added commentary on what is going on inside his head…*which to be honest isn’t much*.

WARNING: anyone allergic to CHEESE and BULLS**** should avoid going any further.

I am addressing you at a very defining moment which mandates all of us to make a conscious stand *by stand i mean stand anywhere but in the streets*.  I have been closely monitoring the demonstrations and the demands voiced by the people * I’v been so busy monitoring it i’v had to cut back on the hours I spend rolling around in the country’s money *. My instructions to the government stressed that they should provide an opportunity for the masses to express their views and demands *my exact words to the police where; treat today like a game of GTA*. I then followed the attempts of some to jump on the bandwagon and cause unrest. I regret the innocent causalities and victims on both the side of the citizens and police personal. The government committed to my instructions and this was clear in the way the police handled demonstrators *yep…1030 wounded and counting… that’s gotta b an all time record… Not to mention the deaths…where IS my medal at?*. They took the initiative to defend them at the beginning of the demonstrations respecting their right to peaceful demonstrations. This was so long as it was within parameters of the law but these demonstrations turned into acts of riot threatening the public order and impairing the daily lives of the Egyptian citizens. These demonstrations and what we witnessed earlier of rallies staged over the past few years wouldn’t have taken place without the huge spaces and room for freedom of expression, freedom of press and many other forms of freedoms that was granted to the Egyptian people by the reforms * I’ll have you know people are FREE to choose whatever POSITIVE thing they want to say about me…EVEN the newspapers are free to print whatever positive thing that want to say about me…sure i usually stipulate which options they can choose from…but they  STILL have a choice…usually just between two options though…when i say 2…i mean 1*

In my capacity as a president of the republic and by virtue of all the powers conferred to me by *me* the constitution as *Big Daddy* a judge and arbitrator I always have stressed and will continue to reiterate that sovereignty will be to the people and i will always adhere to exercising the right of freedom and expression so long as it’s within the permits of law and constitution. There is a fine line separating freedom from chaos and while I take the side of citizen’s freedom to express their views I also similarly adhere to defending Egypt stability and security and to not steer it into any threats that may jeopardise public safety and public order whose repercussions on the current and future of Egypt is unpredictable *and by security and stability i mean my security and my ass-on-the-throne stability…that ass dent on the throne aint gona sustain itself *. Egypt is the biggest country in the region in terms of the population, geographical location and heavy weight it is a state of institutions governed by the constitution and the rule of law and we should be cautious and aware of the many examples around us that draw people to chaos and mayhem in which they gained no democracy or stability *discard all the many examples where this has succeeded like in America, Britian, South Africa, France….let’s just cut it short and just say screw history*. My fellow citizens these demonstrations came to express the lawful aspirations of more democracy and called for speedy actions to combat unemployment, raising standards of living, fighting poverty and addressing corruption. I am fully aware of these lawful aspirations of the Egyptian people and i am also aware of the degree of their suffering to which i am always attached to and working day after day for *Hell am i aware of their suffering…i DO take pride in my work after all…It isn’t easy being corrupt, hated and callous*. However the problems facing us and the goals sought by us cannot be achieved through violence nor chaos they can only be achieved through national dialogue and a conscious concerted genuine efforts *by dialogue i mean i talk you listen…you talk your ass gets thrown in Jail*.

The use of Egypt is a dear wealth, and Egypt looks to the demonstrators to steer away from those who entice chaos, looting public and private property, arsons and knocking down what we have been building *This of course does not apply to the secret undercover agents i have sent out to do just that…they are simply taking a simple approach to ‘refurbishing’ the country *. I have a firm belief and conviction that we will continue or political and economic social reforms for a free and democratic Egyptian society embracing the modern principles and opening to the world *note to self: ask the USA for more money to prop up our piggy bank*. I have taken the side and always will take the side of the poor people of Egypt convinced that Economy is too dangerous to be left to economist alone *It’s all about rookie’s luck i tell you… ask ANY gambler…i’m sure through trial and lots of error i’ll get it right*. I have always been keen to direct governmental policy towards economic reforms that speed up and lessen the suffering of the people *Note to self: Remember to ask the USA if they will cover our phone bills to them to*. Our plans to combat unemployment and provide more educational services, healthcare, housing and many other services to the youth and citizens will remain conditional on our efforts to maintain a secure and stable Egyptian homeland for the civilized people which will not jeopardise its future and allow it to go down the drain. We will rise above the arsons and looting which may indicate further plots to shake the foundations of stability of Egypt. I call on our youth and call on each and every Egyptian citizen man and woman to work for the public interest of the people and to stand up for their country  not by setting ablaze or assaulting public and private property  as it is not by this that we can achieve the aspirations of Egypt and its people. Yet these aspirations can be achieved for a better future by way of awareness, dialogue and genuine efforts for the public good *Must remember to call up my son Gamal and the rest of my crooked crew and tell them not to panic they are of course exempt from these conditionality’s…..better add that to the phone bill the USA will cover*.

My fellow citizens I address you today not only as the president of the republic but as an Egyptian citizen who’s faith put me under the responsibility of this country and I have exhausted my life for the country in times of war and peace *Holla at the fact that i played the religion card*. We have withered hard times and surmounted these obstacles by standing up for them as one nation. We are aware of our directions and goals set towards reform which we have embraced and which has no point of return. We will continue steadily through new steps that emphasis  our respect to the rule of law, new steps towards democracy, more freedoms to citizens,  reduction in unemployment, raising standard of living,  developing services and  to stand by the side of the poor and people of low income *Here is hoping no one calls my Bluff*. Our options and our goals will define the shape of out futures and we have no other alternative to achieve them but to embrace genuine work and through that struggle we will continue to maintain what we have earned and embark on. Those  cautious of the future of the nation the incidents that took place today and the past few days have left the majority of the Egyptian people fearing for Egypt and its future, cautious of further mayhem chaos and destruction *Especially since they don’t have the luxury afforded to me and my home bois of our own Egyptian police force… the national police force is our B**** *. I shoulder my first responsibility to maintain the homeland security and citizen safety and cannot tolerate or allow this fear to grip our people * how DARE they…tryna take OUR jobs of installing fear into the population away from us… you KNOW how much effort goes into building a secret service? Those Torture chambers are an investment people….and i WANT my money’s worth… especially since it’s a recession.. gotta break even*.  I won’t allow this to haunt our future and or our faith so I have requested the government to step down today and i will designate a new government as of tomorrow to shoulder new duties and to account for the priorities of the upcoming era *i know i know…I’m too kind…it’ll b hard work re-shuffling my cabinet but i’ll persist because I’m not a quitter…Literally..I’m thinking of maybe playing a game of musical chairs to decide who goes where*  I state once again that I will not b lax or tolerant and I will take all the steps to maintain the safety and security of all Egyptians. I will safeguard the safety of Egypt and the aspirations of our people it is the duty and responsibility which I have taken in the oath to safeguard and to maintain. May god save Egypt, its people and may he guide all our steps and may peace be upon you all *H-M over and out…AND that’s how you do it BEN ALI…smakkkkdowwwwn…where my FANS at*.

A massive congrats for those who managed to get to here without throwing up in disgust.

Till Next time,

 
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Posted by on January 30, 2011 in Egypt, Middle East, Serious-Comical, USA

 

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Way to Pop an Egyptian party Hillary

So the story that everyone has been hooked on in the news is of course the goings on in Egypt….well…i say everyone…seems the USA has gone a bit quiet on what’s going on. Actually wait…my bad…i spoke to soon, i have come across a statement by the Secretary of State Hillary Clinton…USA the so called beacon of democracy….USA the lauder of people’s liberties…This should be riveting:

‘U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton on Tuesday urged all sides in Egypt to exercise restraint following street protests and said she believed the Egyptian government was stable and looking for ways to respond to its people’s aspirations.’

Source: http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSWAT01483220110125

*scrolls down webpage…double checks the quote…checks Google and other articles for the extended version…goes back to page and searches for a to be continued….checks if this statement is a teaser trailer to a forthcoming fully detailed response….*

W-T-F …is that ALL? *puts down Cheerleading USA Pom poms…takes of Statue of liberty inspired crown…* I heard it was going to be a good ‘un….the character profile promised so much….yet delivered so little….Hooooooooooooooooold up DJ and PLEASE re-wind that track…is that REALLY all you have to say?

If so then I have a little story to tell that will beggar belief that THIS is all the U.S or Hillary could really fathom…huddle round kids:

Back in 2003 a war was waged on Iraq…one of the many reasons to go to war was to bring democracy to Iraq…we had George Bush aka dog and Tony Blair aka tail spreading word of how they were going to be the righteous victors to bring this elusive concept of democracy to the shores of Iraq. Yes theeeeeeeey where the ones who would bring forth this mystic beast called democracy and impart it on the Iraqi people…and they were going to stick to their guns and like  true cowboy’s in a Wild Wild West era where going to wage war to bestow this selfless gift to the Iraqi’s…..yes i know there were other claims to war e.g. Nuclear weapons etc…. but if you’ve been listening to anything Tony Blair’s been droning on about you’d be forgiven for thinking there where no other points to war…plus, even if their where no weapons he still would have gone to war he claimed..Because Saddam is a ruthless dictator etc. ….I’m not disputing the ruthless dictator credentials by the way for those up in arms.

So because they were on this virtuous mission they weren’t going to heed the calls of the namby-pamby UN to hold back till they secured some sort of resolution for the war….SCREW THEM!..They had no BALLS the US cried…they didn’t CARE about the Iraqi people…oh NO they were on a ‘humanitarian’ democratic mission…and no one was going to stop them…they were bringing the democratic party bus to Iraq…they were going to impart this precious baby of the west  to Iraq.. And as a famous wise film *cough cough dirty dancing* once eschewed: ‘NO-ONE puts baby in a corner’ ….not on this dance floor they don’t…

Actually….depends who’s idea it is to bring baby to the dance floor…if it’s the population then F*** that b**** can stay in the corner…that S*** is asking for trouble if she is running out on us…she’s OUR date….we bring her to the dance floor you hear?  And then we let you have a dance or two with her…but in the end she is coming home with US *holla at me Hamid Karzai if u know what I’m talking about….U KNOW what I’m talking about…we all know those elections where as dodgy as Hosni Mubarak’s face…you lil rascal you*

Anyways after all this hoopla….. Iraq isn’t what you would call a pin-up style democracy…so thankfully you would think this Egyptian  street level call to democracy could  be pounced on by you lot to salvage your street cred…since you did also claim that bringing democracy to Iraq would act as a domino effect in the region bringing democracy to other countries.. But funnily enough when Hillary Clinton and the USA, where handed this democratic movement on a plate…. I mean literally on a silver platter with a silver knife, fork and BUTLER to boot they didn’t want much to do with it???? Well the only thing they wanted with it was to tell the population who are striving for it to show ‘restraint’?

Now I’m not saying the population should go anarchic and cause as much destruction as possible for maximum effect but what I DO understand and see is that the people who are protesting when faced with the beating batons and rubber bullets of the police should not just sit back and take it…no they SHOULD fight….why? Because it is their right’s and the rights of future generations they are fighting for, and regardless of what you say no revolution from the bottom-up has ever come without a struggle of sorts…if you have forgotten this ample fact America refer back to the history books…the French revolution…the AMERICAN revolution…the revolution against apartheid in South Africa the U.S etc.

Point being if, as i have said before, you are going to claim to be the bearer of democracy, human rights, liberty etc. Then you better well check yourself before you wreck yourself and defend those who need defending…No No NO NO NO…GEORGE AND TONY…PUT DOWN YOUR DAM GUNS…not that way…sheeeeesh talk about jumping the gun….it can be through simply pulling back the unbridled support Mubarak has from you in aid and foreign policy initiatives. …It’s a surprise why you aren’t acting on this…

Well actually not a complete surprise…I do know that the reason why Hosni Mubarak is on the Paris Hilton US version of the hottie list and not the nottie list is simply because he is our b****…and we are a nation of dog lovers aren’t we?

The same old crap is lauded about….Mubarak is a bastard…but he is OUR bastard…he keeps them radicals at bay…you know who I’m talking about …those gun-totting-suicide-bombing-turban-loving-slipper-hurling-camel-riding-falg-burning-islamic-extremists….

But last i checked Osama Bin Laden was NOT running for presidency in Egypt or any other region and that goes for the rest of that radically deluded bunch……most people in the middle east *the majority save a few* don’t agree or like Osama bin laden and his cronies or even other  extremist forms and versions of his ideals and values…yea shock horror….the people who bomb weddings in Jordan,  kill Shia’s and Sunni’s alike in Iraq and massacre Christians and Muslims in Egypt aren’t well received? So no we won’t be having a BLAST with the extremists when Hosni Mubarak leaves…

But what you are doing by keeping silent and continuing your hypocritical foreign policy stances IS pushing more vulnerable individuals TOO extremist means, because violence whether we like it or not, becomes the only possible solution or outlet in a desperate dead-end situation  for desperate people.  So if you want to call for restraint Hillary your targeting the wrong people, call for restraint on your aid budgets and foreign policy activities that back-up dictatorships like Hosni Mubarak…that way you can help in actually solving a crises….and working your way to de-tarnishing your really grimy image abroad,

And if you are lost for words on what to say to the Egyptian population than look no further than your own constitution for inspiration

‘We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.’

‘No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.’

And if you’re not bothered to read….just take a glance at the statue of liberty and all it stands for….maybe then you will have more to say on this subject then a few pitying words on restraint..

The values your country was built on are values that are not and should not be restrained to your shores alone….but remember that they must not be forced on a population they must COME from the population….after all…isn’t that what democracy is about? Rule BY the PEOPLE, FOR the PEOPLE.

Till Next Time,

 
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Posted by on January 27, 2011 in Egypt, Middle East, Serious-Comical, USA

 

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