Before I get into the post, I’d just like to explain that I haven’t been able to update this blog as regularly as before due to end of year university exams and essays. This post was actually written a while back but I never got round to finishing it due to the above mentioned reasons but I have tried to modify it as best as possible so its up-to-date. So in summary, exams & essays are pure evil and I hope you enjoy this scatter-brained post. :)
So yesterday Donald Trump single-handedly crushed the dreams and ambitions of millions of comedians stateside… how did he do this I hear you ask? By saying that he would NOT be running for the US presidential office in 2012…. GUTTED.
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not a Trump-fan policy or ideas wise…I just think he is comedic gold who channels the late greats before him like Sarah Palin and George Bush…he simply manages to carry the torch of Tom-Foolery onwards.
So now what? I guess we have got to pool our prayers and thoughts together and hope Sarah Palin makes a blast of a come-back and takes on the republican candidacy in the race for president. But until then, let’s all take a sweet, short and poignant look back at some of the gems that Trump bestowed on us *wipes tears*:
Let’s backtrack a slight bit.. for all those who don’t know who Donald Trump is. He is simply the ‘Alan sugar’ of America…but only in the sense that he hosts the same show as Alan Sugar which is ‘the apprentice’ but stateside…that’s where the similarity ends though. Still not completely sure of who he is character wise? Well simply imagine someone with the brains of Sarah Palin, the looks of Susan Boyle, and the arrogance of Piers Morgan/Simon Cowell but with nothing much to back it up save for a fortune bestowed on him by his parents. Point is, boi is putting the lemons out of business in the ‘sour’ department
So let’s look at some of the views Trump made in his fake-tease-of-a-run-up-to-presidency.
The current Political climate:
Trump: The American people are tired of being ripped off by their government officials, representatives and leaders
Fighting words Trumpy, fighting words. But in the rest of the interview in which he stated this point, he spent basically boasting about his excellent and finely tuned skills at ripping people off which has got him to where he is today…Not only that but he also bequeathed us with his strong moral compass directed at equality… Trump is no ordinary man, Trump is blind to our differences and rips off people equally regardless of their ethnicity, creed, nationality, religious belief etc. … *tears up* A man that stands for equality, I know, Martin Luther King would be so proud.
On being called a Racist:
Trump: I have a great relationship with the blacks
Unless boi is referring to Rebecca Black’s family….. Enough said.
On his response to Obama releasing his birth certificate to silence accusations by Trump and his fellow birthers that he was not born in America :
Trump: Today I am very proud of myself because I have accomplished something that nobody else has been able to accomplish
I agree Trump, compared to your lackluster track record of achievements…this IS an achievement of sorts. I bet Trump felt the same kind of pride people at passport control feel whenever they ask to see your passport and you oblige…Nothing tops that high… you can see it on their faces…they are all kinds of E-C-S-T-A-T-I-C
On Libya:
Mirroring what we are all feeling watching these devastating events unfold and the untimely death and murder of innocent civilians by a mad dictator…
Trump: Are the rebels from Iran? Are they From Al-Qaeda?
Spot on Trumpy…spot on.. Smart play involving Iran and Al-Qaeda, that’s the buzz word that gets everyone in a tizzy… Doesn’t matter if they aren’t actually in anyway involved with the conflict… you got to use them buzz words…though I am slightly disappointed you didn’t mention North Korea, Syria, Godzilla, Voldemort etc. as possible candidates…but it was early days yet, I’m sure these big baddies would have got their time to razzle, dazzle and shine throughout you’re campaign.
On oil in the Middle East:
Trump: I’m interested in Libya if we take the oil, if we don’t take the oil ..No Interest.
And the same kind of mantra was espoused in relation to Iraq and any other oil-producing state. But when presented with the question of what he thought the Arab countries would think or feel to the concept of his policy of ‘it’s-all-about-the-oil’ he replied > Who cares
Simply put let us re-phrase the wise musings of Antione Dodson to best sum up his stance and message :
“I’m invading your countries, I’m snatching your oil, so y’all need to hide your kids, hide your wife, hide your husband, ’cause I’m stealing everything out here.”
Trumpy, you could have borrowed this campaign slogan for free if you had decided to run for office. I’d have gladly waivered all copyrights entitlements to this along with Antoine Dodson to help you best get across your message
And if you don’t know who Antione Dodson is and this refrence made no sense check out this Youtube link :
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EzNhaLUT520
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Though the above mentioned topics only scratch the surface of Trump’s views and opinions, it’s the most I could cram into a post without this turning into a personal autobiography of sorts. And to bring this Turmp-fest to a close we will end with a quote by Trump released when he declared he wasn’t seeking to run for office
Trump: I maintain the strong conviction that if I were to run, I would be able to win the primary and ultimately, the general election”
And that folks…is why he WONT be running for office…it’s only ever fun or right to run when the odds are you’ll lose…
Till Next Time,
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